Show Notes

• Asian Fusion: Apple pie for dessert?! Only in New York
• Transhumanism: It's like downloading your brain into a hard drive so you can live forever
• Smoker's Stench: We invited Faceboy to walk with us, but he started smoking, so I put Chemda between us
• Your Roots: I think my father tried to be a priest, but who knows, I could just ask him, but I'm not going to
• Your Religion: You'll always be Jewish, you cannot escape. A war might come some day, and we'll need you.
• Dirty Jokes: My mom hates most of my material but she is very very supportive of my anal sex jokes
• Religion And Politics: Whenever I would get in trouble for quitting sports, I would bring up how my dad quit the priesthood
• Relatable Monks: I don't have ninjas watching over me while I watch a brook make noise
• Speaking In Tongues: I have an aunt who's been having fainting spells in Church from the Power of God
• Close-Minded: Dumb people don't get into religion, religion makes people dumb
• Honest Living: You ate at Eat n' Park park, you worked at Eat n' Park, you die the manager of Eat n' Park
• Family Honor: My grandparents handed out fliers at church to see me tell jokes about my girlfriend's vagina. They were kicked out of the church they were part of for 30 years.
• Night Calls: They had me do stand-up while two girls were eating each other out
• I Demand A Recount: Chemda only likes retards and funny voices. She hates smart people
• The Waldorf Astoria: Jeremy won the $200 brunch buffet, now he's got to find a date, womp womp
• Public Laughter: Don't laugh outside, the wind carries things and the neighbors might hear you
• Banned From KATG: Ex-Intern Mike banned me on Twitter and then wanted to open for me at my stand-up show
• The Oscars: Rough year for films, all these movies are boring. If I say I hate Precious, then I am pro-abuse.
• How To Never Look Fat Again: Over 1,000 ways to dress thinner without dieting
• Fight Back: 88% of people said 'defend yourself when you get mushed with a water bottle'
• A Fuck-Up To Follow: Mike Tyson is going to be on Animal Planet with his birds
• Mission Impossible: Peter Graves is dead at 100 million years old, he was in Airplane!