Quote:
Originally Posted by marina
Me too. I totally used to try to force friendships, or I just wouldn't even start anything because I didn't know how to find a middle ground. Personally, I have to find as much happiness and security in being alone as I would in being with a person I was able to have fun with. Otherwise, I'm only hanging out with people so I wont have to hang out with myself, thus forcing them to endure the very fate I'm trying to avoid.
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I know that when I was in high school I felt like I was forcing friendships, and that I really had some good friends. Only a couple of years later did I find out that, because of my combative, argumentative personality my friends thought I hated them the first couple of years until they realized that's how I am...very disheartening. I've found now that I'm incapable of forcing friendships. I try very hard to make conversations, and put myself out there, and let people warm up to my personality, otherwise people could really dislike me for some ridiculous piece of sarcasm that I threw out nonchalantly.