Quote:
Originally Posted by McNally
You have a point here, Bob. I've never really butted heads with anybody in my adult life until I moved to New York. Usually I have an easy time getting along with people. The KATG social world turned out to be different than my pre-KATG life -- Suddenly everything I did or said was under much more scrutiny, and I didn't adapt to that very well.
The way Keith would tease Chemda, I tried to tease Chemda, but I was way too heavy handed about it. There were also some bad feelings behind it that I didn't initially realize were there. It's taken me a long time to sort out where those came from, because they really weren't justified, and I was surprised at myself for developing them: Resentment of New York, Chemda/Rellek jealousy, extremely different energy levels and different senses of life between me and Chemda. Living right down the street made us see each other more often than I saw most people in New York, which caused friction to build up more quickly. I'm not saying any of this is okay, I'm just trying to explain.
If you go back and listen to the aftershow where we argued, Chemda left the room after the main show, and I didn't understand why. You can hear me ask where she went. I was so oblivious that I didn't even know she was upset.
I don't know quite what my point is. I guess that I don't think I'm a particularly terrible person, but in this case I was incredibly unthoughtful and basically dumb. Once it came to light I tried my best to make things better. As another example, I've been thinking all night about this "time McNally shit on Chemda on the forums" that Keith has mentioned a couple of times, and I really can't remember what I said. It's pretty weird to be criticized for something and have no idea what that thing actually is. Sometimes I get those blinders on, so I definitely take their word for it. But it's hard to make up for things when you don't remember what they are. So, clearly I have to learn to be more careful about what I say, because it means more to other people than it does to me. Which, like you mentioned, is exactly what I was complaining about in that show, which makes it sound like I'm trying to have it both ways.
I tried to acknowledge the contradictions in that show. Jesse's commentary was super awesome, but I'd be interested to hear your thoughts after you hear the full show as it was original put together. But if you're not into it, that's cool. A lot of times doing those shows helps me solidify my own opinions, and I think this one will help me be less upset about outside opinions in the future. It helped me realize that I do already have a pretty sizable number of people who like what I do, and that I should focus on them, instead of trying to get everybody on my side.
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I think it does matter somewhat if the reaction elicited by certain behavior was not anticipated, and I know you have earlier said that you have tried to change how you act, as you have reiterated here, and I will certainly say that it is possible that you have completely resolved the hypocrisy I am detecting by making your occasional crappiness a dated thing. It is also possible you are entirely different not in New York, and not in the KATG environment. As far as those go, I don't know. But I do know how things appear to a listener of KATG, and I have stated as much.
I understand the complexity behind how you act, and to a great degree I can relate, so I respect you more because of those reasons, but that doesn't make the contradiction non-existent. Neither does acknowledging its existence. So the problem, in my opinion, remains. But you seem to be saying that you know as much, and are trying to resolve it. That also counts for something, I suppose.
I think you're on the right track saying you should stop trying to get everybody on your side. As Junkenstein said, you are being yourself, and the truth is some people just aren't going to like you, no matter how honest you are, and it's unreasonable to expect those people to come along for the ride with you or appreciate your effort, or fault them for not doing so.
I will listen to the entirety of that show of your podcast in the near future and I'll give you my thoughts.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Junkenstein
You're not starting the crusade but many people who openly despise the guy either did it because of his arguments about New York (that i repeat, are not much more controversial than a lot of the stuff Spooky, MattB or even Keith said in the past), the recession or because he argued with Chemda.
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To be fair, it's not really up to you how much people value something. I don't live in New York, so I couldn't care less how much McNally thinks it sucks. But I'd absolutely understand if someone took a great deal of pride in the city and were upset about someone crapping on it. If someone is going to say something, they need to accept the fact that people might not be okay with it.