[spooky]

It seems like you are going after a demographic that doesn't use these sort of sites?

Correct the grammar first, people judge you by that. If you do nothing else, write like a journalist documenting your life, don't write with phonetic spelling of how you actually speak.

Your photo, the most important part of your profile, makes it obvious you were dressed up for a special occasion, a wedding perhaps, so there is no way to know if you cut the sleeves off your stained T-shirts. Your glasses and facial hair don't jive with the outfit, neither does the bare faux wood paneled room with wire hangers on an exposed closet with that slanted low ceiling you only find in trailer homes and portable church buildings. Take a pic of you at your best, with a background that says something more about where you want to go in life, the interior of a trailer home doesn't scream security, success, ambition. It screams that you aren't going anywhere in life and look forward to it. In short, shave, get a hair cut, put on a tie and get some glamor shots made in front of some nice building. If you are going to be fake, like your pic already is, do it right.

Also, maybe get rid of taking a girl to bed on your first date. It's bad enough that you consider watching your dog shit as a fun date opener(are you going to let her bag it and throw it away, too?). The felony thing is only cool to dudes, girls over 16 don't want to think, "On a long enough time line, he will have a criminal record(if he doesn't already) and may wind up landing me in jail, I wonder if he deals drug to frat boys, oh god, I hate frat boys". Oh, and Taco Bell, followed by you taking her to bed, come on. Girls fart, too, and they know it.

Did you think about what a girl wants in a guy? I promise you, with a million dudes looking to score on dating sites, women aren't looking to house break a guy, starting from scratch.

Before you get pissy and overreact to me cutting up your profile, just let a few girls reply and see if what I say rings true.