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Yikes, I haven't heard the episode yet, but I've heard the standup submission. I'm beginning to think the episode isn't out yet just to protect me from this submission. Particularly your retard impression at the end. Yeesh.
Ok, that's a little harsh, and I'm sure I would be a really shitty standup comic too. But I'm not trying to be a comedian. I'm just trying to be Awesome. AND I'M SUCCEEDING FANTASTICALLY!
That's my advice to you: You should try to succeed fantastically, rather than audition poorly, and presumably wildly unsuccessfully.
And look - I hit my adverb count for the day! Huzzah!
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