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Old 01-07-2011, 10:01 AM   #129 (permalink)
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benjita's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Michigan's Middle Finger
Posts: 693
Wow, a place for my story. Here goes...

I've been married for over 10 years. Been with her for over 13 years. She was my first; I was 20. I don't remember many things from back then. I definitely don't remember being head-over-heels for her. Regardless, we were engaged a year later, married two years after that, and immediately became parents (which is a story unto itself).

Our marriage was never great. It was passable. Basically, we were the couple that just got through and had no drama. We were the envy of all our friends, especially when we hit 10 years.

But it was never great, and I didn't know better. I'm usually a very passive person, and those types of people end up getting used. I really started feeling used when she and the kids would be able to talk me into whatever they wanted, but when I wanted something, it was "The Lecture". "The Lecture" consisted of wonderful phrases such as "I know we're struggling", "We're working for the future" and "The kids are more important". Now mind you, this was me asking to spend $10 on something. Don't even get me started about when I asked for what I wanted for my birthday.

The double standards finally got to me last year, and I finally started asserting myself. Unfortunately, I had a wife who couldn't take what she could dish. My venting became loading undue blame on her, or attacking her or whatever it is. One day, after a four day panic attack/depression while I was going through a tough time (caused by her, but blamed on me), I finally told her that we needed to talk.

That was a disaster. Since she can't let me finish a thought without interrupting and defending herself, it ended with me leaving to blow off some steam. She thought I was going for good and immediately filed for food stamps and support. She also said that I couldn't come back unless I could prove to her that I want her forever.

So I ended up on my friend's couch, and she packed up my shit and threw it in his basement. I finally decided that if she was going to be like that then maybe it really is over. But of course, she wouldn't admit that (even though her actions spoke otherwise), and told me that I wasn't allowed to fuck anyone.

When the semester started, she asked me to come home and try to make things work. But all it ended up being was me cleaning the house and watching the kids (and working) while she was spending God knows how many hours doing school stuff. And even though she kept saying that I wasn't allowed to leave over one argument, it was one argument that she decided to end it on.

But I had no car, so I ended up sleeping in my son's bed. We even discussed things like seeing other people, which somehow that night, she found someone. She even fucked him by the end of the week in the bed I was just kicked out of, but she couldn't quite get why that made me sick. Finally, after getting a payday advance (which I'm still readvancing until tax time), I got my car fixed and left. But this wasn't until after I finally found someone and slept with them (three weeks after she did). She was so pissed, she told me I wasn't moving out that night and that she needed to get a hotel room with her man. Some sort of revenge fuck or something. Really the worst possible way to move out.

Since then, she has decided that she wants a divorce, and since she's getting Financial Aid, she'll beat me to the punch. She also won't discuss me ever getting the kids except every other weekend (any mention of it causes her to fly off the handle). And she keeps the apartment and all the stuff in it while I'm left pretty much homeless. Yeah, I'm starting to fight back.

It's time to move on. There's a ton of women out there who won't double-standard me to death, and they're going to get a hell of a guy out of it.

Moral Number 4: The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind. Except in New Jersey, where what's blowing in the wind smells funny.
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