[marina]

I know I'm kind of the one who always pitches a bitch fit when Keith and Chemda say shit about transgender people because I have trans friends and have watched people go through exactly what Lauren's going through. I thought that Lauren was trans within the first couple of shows she was on. The way she described her relationships sounded like other transguys I've known.

It broke my heart when it sounded like she was saying that either she's going to learn to live in a body she's uncomfortable with, or she's going to die of cancer. I know successful, happy transgender people, you don't have to chose between personal happiness and success. It's unrealistic to say that there isn't going to be more resistance to a transgender person from society at large, but I'd rather the whole world hate me and be okay with who I am than spend every second in the kind of situation that Lauren's describing.

Obviously, I've only been whiteness to other people's transition, I can only identify with 10% of any given transman's experience. I have no way of knowing what's really at stake, but I wanted to say that, the times in my life that I've stood at the edge of a cliff, afraid to jump, afraid to stay, trying to come to terms with living forever on 6 inches of space when the entire world was right in front of me, the only thought I had after I finally jumped was "why didn't I think of this sooner?"