Quote:
Originally Posted by sagzy
My dad kept putting me down all the way until just a few years ago when i just couldn't take it and I said "fuck it" yelled back at him. Now we have a sort of truce/compromise where we only speak when we absolutely have to.
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When I was 16 I told my dad, "If you hit me again, I'll hit you right back" and the physical abused stopped immediately.
I've read that it takes 3 generations to break the abuse loop.
You get hard core abused. You vow you will never abuse your children the way your dad abused you. You end up marrying someone similar to your dad because that is what you know. Your husband abuses your kids and you are kindof dismissive but try to shield your children. Your children see how fucked up things are and vow to never abuse their children. That last generation is when it sinks in and if the person is very diligent, they break the cycle.
I'm in that third generation. I married a man completely the opposite of my dad who is sweet and kind and gentle and a fabulous father. When I feel my rage build up and recognize some of my traits as my dad's, I shut down and keep it in. That will always be with me, but I will NOT pass it on to my kids. It will stop with me.