Though I voted that I think Keith's dad still affects him, that doesn't mean that he'll be just like his dad when he is a dad.
It generally takes three generations for the abuse cycle to stop. Case in point...
My grandma is hard core abusive. Institutional crazy, and abused my mom to a point where maybe in the 50's it was frowned apon, but today she's have the kids taken away from her.
My mom wanted to be the exact opposite of her mom because of the abuse. She was passive to the opposite point and ended up marrying a man that was a more passive version of her mom...he is so similar to Keith's dad it gives me goosebumps.
So now I'm the third generation. I've seen the abuse and it will stop at my generation and not go on to my kids. Sometimes, I feel it rise up in me...I can sense some of my dad's personality and traits in me. But I've got enough distance where I can stop doing it with my kids. I married a healthy, amazing, kind man that is a fabulous dad and when I start feeling my temper I'm able to not indulge in it. I know how to work around the abuses so my kids will not have to deal with it at all. So far, so good...they are healthy and kind and sweet kids with a very idyllic (if I do say so myself) childhood.
I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I'm saying that since I'm very purposeful in not abusing my children and I'm aware of how my grandma and dad abused me and my siblings I'm able to step outside of myself a bit. Keith is able to do that as well, and I think as long as he is able to do that while in the moment with his kids, the abuse will stop with his generation...even though his dad may still affect him.
My dad totally still affects me, but I don't let my kids see that at all and I know the triggers so I'm able to control my reactions to it.
Sorry, Pat Dixon got me in a therapist mood I guess
