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TL;DR
Fantastic guest. Loved him.
On presents:
I gave my boyfriend 30,000 Xbox points for his 30th birthday this year cause he's crazy into Xbox. All his friends were impressed. (I also gave him a bunch of other tiny presents like jelly beans he likes, coasters, etc, stupid shit.) for my birthday he got me a framed art print. His present meant more to me cause he really "got me" while I felt like I just took the easy route and threw money at him. It works really well though because he really loves material shit and I couldnt care less about objects.
On holidays & families:
My ex and I pulled an adult version of the high school sleepover scam one year ("Sorry mom, I'm going to her family's for Xmas." "sorry mom, we're going to his parents' place for Xmas.") and we just stayed home. I cooked for the two of us and we got drunk. It was good.
This year, I planned on going to visit a friend who'd been deported to Ecuador so I figured 2 birds 1 stone, I booked it around *the thanksgiving holiday. This Christmas the boyfriend and i are doing double duty between our parents. At this point it's not a big deal because I make sure to leave within 3 hours so my mom doesn't have time to go from euphoria that her baby's here to making me feel like garbage for my life choices. And now that my sister and I are older I feel like I can talk to her like a human being. I make her laugh a hell of a lot and I feel like there's no judgement on either side.
So for the record I have lied plenty of times to not go to holiday family shit and I have never felt bad about it. I don't mind doing it now cause everyone's mellowed out and there's no slit wrists anymore. (also my mom is 72 and frail as fuck so..y'know.)
I hosted Xmas dinner two years ago and while I went broke and was stressed out for two days prepping, it was worth it cause xmas is my favorite holiday and I'm a bit of a people pleaser. It was a 4 course meal! From scratch!*
On meat that makes you realize it was really an animal:
Speaking of food, I've eaten cow brains before (delicious and fatty) and would love to eat a human being. We're all just meat.*
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"Uh, that'll be $14 for the tickets for the babies."
"Oh no, no, no, they're just gonna cry. Just gonna come in here and weep."
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