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Old 07-18-2013, 10:29 AM   #12 (permalink)
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BrianAlt's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Northern NJ
Posts: 4,690
Originally Posted by myq View Post
do you think that it actually IS emotionally cheating? Is it a betrayal of your relationship's privacy to discuss your issues with, say, one trusted good friend who is not a part of the relationship?
It depends on the person I'm discussing it with. One good friend? Probably not. A therapist? I'd say no. Another woman? Probably. At least in my wife's opinion. And hers counts a lot here.

I've been married, not for as long as you certainly, and I've cohabitated and had long-term relationships (again not mega-long-term), but I've always been comfortable sharing the ups and downs with a good friend or two. Or three. Usually just not all at once. Not like at the bar or a diner or after a show when it's the whole gang, and I'm like "here's a sincere relationship issue to discuss," or "what do you think about this sexual thing with my wife?" But certainly on an individual level, I've found that being able to talk about private things with people who will keep them private, supremely helpful.
By the way, I've been married 22 years. I don't say that to prove I know more. It's so you can say congratulations to me.

My best friend is single and never married. I have discussed certain sexual aspects with him, but not many. Few guy friends I've had have been comfortable on that level. Women seem more open to it, but I point back to my answer above.

It doesn't really make sense to me that if you have a problem in your relationship, you are required to only deal with it and discuss it and solve it within the confines of that relationship. I understand the desire to do so, but sometimes the outside perspective of a caring, trusted friend can be super valuable. True? (Not saying that you don't have this... you allude to something like it later in your post, I think.)
I believe that to be very true. And I agree that I did allude to it. And that's all I'm going to do...because...

Your secret is safe with the internet.
Originally Posted by slampokes View Post
You could be a terrorist and I would still continue to love you very, very much.
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