[BrianAlt]

Originally Posted by myq

That makes sense. Do you agree with your wife's opinion? (If you feel comfortable answering.)

Not explicitly, no. Hmmm. Bad word choice there? But I do fully understand where she is coming from and I respect that.

Obviously I can imagine a scenario in which a straight man is discussing his sexual relationship with another woman who is not his wife, and having that be inappropriate if the other woman is interested in the man, say (and/or the man in the woman).
But what about a situation wherein neither the man nor the other woman are interested at all, she is otherwise involved, or a member of another sexual orientation, whatever the case, absolutely no threat to the relationship, only interested in helping... I can understand the wife (or husband, for that matter, were the roles reversed) wanting rules in place that err on the side of keeping that potential threat at bay, but what if that threat is entirely absent? Are those rules still important because she (or he) feels they are? Do you think (a la When Harry Met Sally) that the threat is never entirely absent?

She thinks that threat is never entirely absent. I might be a little clueless in seeing signs of the "threat". Meaning the woman probably does have some other feelings, but I'm content with the level of the relationship. As I get older I do find it harder to believe anyone is interested. Not impossible, but harder.

By the way, this happened the last time I saw you. I was talking to a woman and I don't feel this woman had any interest in me other than our discussion. However, when the conversation was over a got "a look" from my wife. And I gave her a "huh? " look back. (If that woman reads this, no need to answer either way.)

Congratulations!
And I'll say, you certainly know more about YOUR marriage than I do. And if you're happy in it, then you win. Or more happy than unhappy, certainly.

Thanks! And, yes, I'm happy. Can't say I've been completely happy for 22 years, but right now I'm very happy!

When you say the guy friends aren't comfortable, can I ask what that means? You start to talk about something sexual and they say "ew, gross, that's your wife?"

I think you make a good point here. How do I really know? I guess I just don't feel like the relationship is on that level. I guess I could test those waters.