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I relate to the scratching and cutting. Sometimes the emotional pain was just too much to deal with it felt better to just scratch/cut to make the mental shit stop for a little bit, because I was punishing myself/doing something about the pain. I still feel urges to cut but I do other things such as gorge myself with food. when I had more money, I would get tattoos.
Part of what attracted me to the BDSM community was the whole controlled pain part of it. Not recommended for everyone, but I have found it helpful to be spanked, pinched, etc when I feel the urge to cut. It is safe, no marks at all, gets that urge out plus necessary cuddles and comfort from the hubby.
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