DANNY!
I understand being in a self-destructive head space and wanting to feel something but can you please please please buy yourself a basic set of weights for 40 bucks or less. Whenever you feel yourself going into a zone of self harm can you please try taking your energy out on the weights or going for a run. Exhaust yourself, lift weights until your muscles ache, feel that pain instead!
Doing damage to yourself in the ways you've been doing aren't constructive or furthering at all.
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