[Sparrow]

if the 'are you happy' question isn't complicated for you, maybe you're boring or too young.

i'm a miserable hermit grump, but i'm not unhappy about it. the work i like to do breaks my soul and takes pounds of my flesh, but i love it so much i keep doing it. if i'm not sweating and grinding it out behind the scenes and crying in the middle of stages before doors open, it's likely i'm not reaching my full potential.

the enormity of Hope inside my soul is a constant annoyance, but absolutely necessary. if i can't believe something insane can be pulled off, it won't, but it sometimes does and it is fucking orgasmic. people are shitty and let you down, but those times they don't, man, get me flying. my highs get so high it makes the disappointment crush pretty brutal, but those times when things really jam are so sweet and good it's worth breaking my back to feel. it's an addiction and i am /always/ after it.

so, ya know, yeah i guess i'm happy if destroying myself to achieve something beautiful or true is happiness.