TL;DR Take care of yourself, not everyone else. Let others help. Look at the drawing.
Chemda, I know you are, by nature, The Hostess; always concerned that everyone else is comfortable and has their needs met. That is admirable but for the duration of this stage of your life, STOP IT! Everyone wants to say and do just the right thing but there will be awful clunkers. Everyone will want to visit you, keep you company, cheer you up, but only you will know what you need and it will change from minute to minute so tell them if you need them to leave. Or come up with a signal for your husband or bestie that you need them to nicely kick the people out. Your friends may feel awkward for a moment but they love you and want what is best for you.
I have found the attached article very helpful. It's where I got the idea of "Comfort in, dump out". What is happening is like a hurricane and you are at the eye of the storm. Everyone else is on a ring around you; the closer they are to you in life, the closer ring they are on. So Hennessy is circling right by your side, your BFFs are in a circle around that, and so on. It is our job to offer comfort and maybe even offer assistance to those on the circles closer than we, and you and those closest to you are free to cry or scream or complain or even just be grumpy to everyone further out. You don't owe us anything.
While it may be true that I am sad and scared about what is happening to you it would be horribly selfish of me to expect you to comfort me when you are the one in need of comfort. Of course the lines are a little blurred with those closest to you. You and Hennessy are one so you'll naturally take care of each other, and you'll always look after your best friends.
How not to say the wrong thing - latimes This the article I mentioned above.