Quote:
Originally Posted by Tulipaloozi
Regarding the poll about parents doing drugs:
My mom smoked weed when she was younger and that's about it(as far as I know). My dad, on the other hand, will pretty much do any and all drugs that are put in front of him. They have been (surprisingly!) divorced for most of my life.
Today, he started his 6th and last round of chemo for stage 4 lymphoma. About a month ago, I found a glass meth pipe in his bedroom while looking for his CBD oil. Two weeks later, after my sister in law and I were done cleaning his house, he wanted to give me a nug of weed. Who am I to turn down free weed?! He handed me one of his older diabetic test strip containers to put the weed in and when I opened it, I found a baggie of what I can only assume was meth.
He grabbed the baggie away from me and said, "you knew I did that shit." After my earlier discovery, I told him that I definitely had a hunch. He then says, "I'll change once the world changes." This was after he swore up and down to our whole family that he has been clean for over a decade.
To find the meth itself is disheartening, but to find it while he's battling cancer makes it even more so. I've been fighting with myself whether or not I should tell him how it makes me feel, but I keep coming back to, "who am I to tell a cancer patient what they should or shouldn't be doing?" He may never be able to walk without crutches/a cane or pee without a catheter again, am I really in a position to scold him about his drug use, especially if I've never seen him tweaking?
I have no proof that he has smoked meth since he has been diagnosed, but for him to immediately get defensive when responding makes it really hard for me to believe that he stopped.
Apologies for the diary entry. I'm just trying to figure out my next move with all of this bullshit and listening to this fantastic episode made me think about it even more.
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What a tough place to be in. I really feel for you in this position.
Sometimes when I'm overwhelmed with which option to take, I do nothing. My justification is that bad she happens when it wants to. So that mean it will take me a minute to get through some of the pain before I can adjust to taking a definitive step in one direction or another.
I found that al-anon helps. Because it helps me clear the info to see what I can do and what parts are or aren't my responsibility in someone else's addiction.
It's a powerless place to come from. It takes time just to adjust to that notion.
I hope you find patience for yourself through this.
Lots of love.
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