because i come from an insular culture, it's very strange to me when people don't root their identity in the dirt they come from. i'd feel very untethered if i didn't have something more specific than American to call myself.
in any event, i went with "thick and gooey all night mmmm," but rethinking the wisdom. will we actually eat the pizza at some point or will we just let it char in the oven? can i switch to the cum dog one? i like that.
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