1. Go to V*st*
pr*nt.com. (Do they have a Google Alert for their name? I don't know; just in case.)
2. Order 500 cards with a fake name, e-mail address, and phone number.
2a. Use code KATG at checkout.
3. Put 494 of those cards right into the trash.
4. Put the remaining 6 cards in your wallet.
5. Ding a car.
6. Pull out your small stack of cards; give one to the other party or leave it at the scene of the incident.
7. Throw away the remaining 5 cards--they're your "burner phone".
8. Go to step one, with a new fake name, e-mail address, and phone number.