Chemda,
I think you know the answer in your gut but you don't want to accept it.
I voted for see her and break a plate.
I think it could be therapeutic for you to really release your anger, sadness and disappointment regarding the relationship you have with your parents.
On the other hand, you have hashed this out before. Opening up old wounds is not always the healthiest thing to do.
You may call this non-advise but I think you need to do for you what you need to do. Just make sure you are acting in your best interest and not out obligation or fear. Fear of being rejected again, fear of hurting her feelings, or any thing else that might happen. What is the worst that can happen and what realistically is the best thing that can happen out of this conversation? The worst is really what you have now, I can't tell you what the best realistically could be (but I bet you know this already).
Don't give your Mother another chance, give Chemda a chance. A chance to continue to move on with your awesome life or to clear things off your chest. It sounds to me like reconciliation and a mutually beneficial relationship between you and your Mother is not realistic, but you really already know this is true or not. I have a very superficial relationship with my oldest sister and brother, it's best that way. I have never agreed with just about anything they have ever said or done. I don't feel I need a more meaningful relationship and they don't know the difference. But I'm OK with that.
I can sum this up... don't read any of the above and do this... TRUST IN CHEMDA and do what you already know to be best. But let us know what happens either way, for god sake don't hold out on us!
