Quote:
Originally Posted by TAFKAP
... your relationship with your daughter sounds cool as fuck!
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So, you mentioned that nobody reads/leaves comments here, so I feel safe sharing this story, in regards to my relationship with my daughter...
She was about 17, and had dated a few boys, but was never serious about any of them. Certainly not serious enough to have sex. Just a lot of kissing, based on her reports. So one day, I get a phone call:
Her: Dad, I think I met the "one".
Me: The one what?
Her: I think I met the "first" boy.
Me: *not wanting to assume* - The first boy for what?
Her: You know... sex.
okay - full stop right? What 17 year old daughter calls her dad with this revelation? What father doesn't immediately lose his shit? It was at this moment that the level of trust my daughter and I share was truly illustrated, and that trust and respect became more important to me than her virginity.
*small talk about where they met and is he in school, etc.*...
Her: How do I know if this is right? How do I know when I'm ready?
Me: Well sweetie, ask yourself this. If he stops calling in a couple weeks after you've maybe had a sex a few times, will you be okay? Will you still feel okay with your decision? Will you still feel like you owned your decision? If so, then you're in a good spot to follow your heart. And realize, he may do just that; just stop liking you. That doesn't make him a bad guy, and it doesn't make wanting to sleep with him wrong. You just need to make sure you own the experience, NOT him.
Her: ... pause... Okay. Thanks Dad.
My honest feeling in that moment was that, if I try to sway her away, lie to her, or in any way act upset at her, she may never ask me for advice or come to me at a crucial time ever again. So I tried to give her honest information and leave the decision to her, despite my natural (in my opinion) dad instincts to dissuade her vehemently.
I've always felt like you really don't know what kind of amazing person your child is until you talk to them as though you met them for the first time. My daughter is way cooler than I ever was. You two would like her a lot. You play that game about who would be in your crew... I think you'd pick her.
Thanks for letting me ramble on... how boring... a dad proud of his kid.