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I cried when Andrea cried because god damn. I look back at my life and I think "how many times did I experience this exact thing in one way or another?" From the start of being sexual at about 15 until about the age of 35, almost every sexual experience was something I didn't want in one way or another yet had no context or words or way to say why or how or what I did want. Talk about a mindfuck.
In our lives, we women have been taught:
If you kiss you better give it up or you're a tease
Don't wear makeup too young bc old guys will hit on you
Never enter a mans house if you don't plan on fucking him bc we all know that's what we're agreeing to
Know where the exits are on the first few dates
Be sexy
Don't be sexy
Men will do anything to fuck you
Men rape children
Men rape everyone
If you get raped why were you there
If you get raped tell someone
If you get raped and you tell someone prepare for it to ruin your life
Be smart don't get raped
Don't get too drunk
Drink or youre boring
Fuck or you're frigid
If you don't fuck x number of times a week in a relationship something's wrong
If you aren't looking to fuck somethings wrong and you're probably a bitch anyway
Don't enjoy sex or you're a slut
Enjoy sex and do the things that they do in porn or you're boring
No man is ever your friend
Get a walk to your car or you will get raped
Be nice to men who shout at you because they might rape you
Etc
Etc
Etc
It makes sense that so many women are soooooo fucked up for so long when shit goes down. It makes sense that we don't know how to react in certain situations because of all this conflicting garbage, none of which takes into account **what we might actually want at that moment**. The concept of consent and this whole wave of shit coming out now is THE BASELINE of us feeling some minimal agency to have even words to slow men the fuck down so we can move in a way that feels good and safe for us.
Also therapy
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