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Old 12-15-2017, 11:37 AM   #18 (permalink)
astrokahn
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 551
I have had to seriously reexamine my expectations about gender roles with my boyfriend. He is gentle and sweet and caring and patient and generally all these beautiful things that attract me to him every day and show me that he his a person who I am excited about sharing a future with. But there are so many socially engrained things that show up as turn offs that I still have in me that I don't believe are cavewoman driven as everyone else is so quick to pull up.

I think the turn offs are BECAUSE of the resistance of femininity we have been socialized to accept. I found I would be turned off by his refusal to be aggressive when I wanted him to, because that "seemed feminine" to me and I've been brainwashed to hate that in men. It's not that we need to "toughen up", it's that we can see kindness as a good quality for fucking once can't we? I would so much rather exist in a space where kindness and cooperation and compassion and open exchange are valued over aggression and toughness. I mean for godssake we live NOW, we aren't fighting for survival anymore, I think we can ditch the caveman garbage.
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