[astrokahn]

Gotta chime in on the vegan thing.

I worked for ten years at Dicks Last Resort, which was kind of a waiter's wet dream. Keith I wish you could go back in time and trade in all your waiter jobs for this one. We were allowed to curse and talk shit to customers and they talked back accordingly.

My favorite part of the job was playing pranks on people, one of which was "birthday coffee cake." If one of my tables had a birthday, without preparing anyone at the table, I would bring out what looked like a bowl of chocolate cake covered in whipped cream with a spoon sticking out and tilted just enough so you could see the cake center. I would tell the person that if they ate the whole thing in under a minute, I'd pay for their whole table's check. EEEEE!!

So as the entire table grew super excited, we all counted down from 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!... and the person would tear into this "cake" and inhale at least two whole swallows before realizing it was actually coffee grounds. Which we all thought was HIGHlarious. Until someone complained and I couldn't do it anymore.

They were really upset. Yes because they just got tricked into eating coffee grounds, but mostly,they said, because when you pay someone to make you food, you should be fairly confident that what you're getting is a chocolate cake and not a mound of coffee trash. That made sense to me.

Vegan ten-ish years. If I'm eating something in a restaurant that is supposed to be vegan and it's not then they're just assholes for stating that it is. All vegans are used to having one or two menu items to pick from in any given place so it's not a surprise if things aren't vegan. Why lie?