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Old 05-04-2018, 12:51 PM   #12 (permalink)
Enunciated Piffle
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Montana
Posts: 4,080
Bert is 100% an alcoholic. He has Tito’s vodka endorsement simply from yelling out “Lemme get a Tito’s” at each and every show. Throughout the show. Joe Rogan, Ari, and Tom Segura were legitimately concerned Bert might die if quit drinking,(only opiates/ alcohol withdrawal will kill you) for their 30 day soberiety. THE CONTEST WAS CALLED SOBERT sober/Bert for crying out loud!!!

So when Keith asks if not drinking would affect his self image; of course it would. Joe Rogan has commented numerous times that he thinks Bert’s ‘Number 1 Party Guy’ title fame has negatively affected Bert. He’s trying to live up to hype. He’s also been called out for drinking a couple ‘pre show drinks’ before a show. Him saying he performs “without a drink” is a lie.

I personally could give a shit but he’s oddly in denial for a comic.

“My wife and I have un-assisted sleeps.” What’s that? “That’s when we don’t take Xanax to sleep.” Uh huh.

I gotta say. I’ve heard his The Machine story over a dozen times. It’s fucking hilarious- each and ever time. Poor Bert. Just classic addict/ alcoholic behavior. Doesn’t even realize it.

Last edited by Enunciated Piffle; 05-04-2018 at 12:57 PM. Reason: Hopefully shorter
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