View Single Post
Old 06-11-2018, 09:35 AM   #7 (permalink)
thirteen
Senior Member
2021 Marathon Kickstarter Backer2020 Marathon Kickstarter Backer2019 Marathon Kickstarter Backer24-hour Marathon 2018 Fundraiser Backer38-hour Marathon 2014 Kickstarter Backer
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,095
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mermaid View Post
I love Julian.

I feel personally attacked. Cause the guy I liked was like Keith and wasn't ready to have emotions for someone again yet.

I get it. But it's annoying.

Cause it feels like it was just a waste of my time. Why date if you aren't open to having feelings?
I completely agree with you. I think people should take the time to heal before they move on.

In an ideal world, people who are not emotionally available would recognize that in themselves and make it clear from the very beginning that they are not interested in anything serious. Then they would follow through with that by communicating it now and then, especially if they feel that the other person wants to do more and more date-like activities or they feel they are getting attached.

I think Keith declining to go to the Sex and the City thing is a clear indication that he's not interested in anything serious, and I think the woman realized that. Having boundaries is a good thing.

I also think they should recognize when the other person is getting attached, and break it off before causing further pain. And not in the "I'm going to be an asshole until you break up with me because I'm a chicken shit." Do it quickly, and, if you've been on more than just a handful of dates, do it in person.

Here are some reasons a person may date again before they're ready to open up and have a serious relationship:

- They're bored.
- They want sex.
- They need to fill a hole.
- They don't want to be in a serious relationship but the person they like does, so they continue to have their cake and eat it, until the other person clues in.
- They are hoping a new person will help them get over their ex.
- They miss the feeling of having a partner (companionship).
- They genuinely think they may find a serious partner.

Last edited by thirteen; 06-11-2018 at 10:03 AM.
(Offline)   Reply With Quote