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Wow... that letter! That letter has been my life (with a couple of details swapped) for the past two+ years from the perspective of the husband and I recently reached my breaking point.
The differences:
- I cheated first, several times. I felt like a piece of shit for doing it, but I did it anyway. I owned up to it, stopped doing it, and did my best to make amends.
- Swap "I'm into BDSM" for "I'm a lesbian"
So... after catching her cheating and asking her to put a stop to it, she did. Not too long after, she secretly started with a thing with a new person and then came to me to ask for permission. I pushed back, but eventually relented. Later, we came up with an agreement specifying our boundaries.
For a few months, our relationship felt better than ever. I was really happy and I thought she was too. But then the push against boundaries began. I was reminded of my previous indiscretions many times in order to justify bad behavior. I felt like a piece of shit again, so I relented over and over occasionally trying to fight back against the disrespect of our agreement, but never making any headway.
Last week, the boundaries were pushed again and I decided I'd had enough. I told her it was over and I was leaving. The problem is... well, I guess about the same as every long term relationship. We've known each other for 21+ years: dated off and (mostly) on for about 10, and we've been married for over 10 now. I just don't know what life is like without her.
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