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Defensive ...
... is not the word. You don't need to be aggressive, angry, or even annoyed to be stand-your-groundive or resistive. Exasperation suffices.
It's a shame that 'defensive' is the wrong word (too many negative connotations) because it seems like it's the right 'meaning' against an aggressor without being necessarily 'snarly' (possibly the aspect of 'aggressive' that is not wanted on this journey). I guess you'll have to stay with being obdurate, adamant, steadfast or indomitable. These don't sound snarly.
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