[Hennessy]

No it's not everything. It's what some of the more fucked up things were. I understand you not "buying the show". I'm a bullshitter.

I'm not expecting anything from you guys or Chemda. I recorded it not knowing if she'd post it or not.
Im not trying to justify my actions and if I was doing that, I really was trying not to.

It was hard for the words to come out. To admit to that shit that I hate myself for. To relive the way I hurt the most beautiful and important thing in my life. And to be clear with my words and not get too justify-ey. Maybe I failed. I hate the way I sound on it too.
And I really don't THINK I'm lying about lying to show what not a liar I am but Im just going to go kill myself now.

I know it doesnt matter why I did anything I did and what my trauma is. I wanted to apologize. I wanted Chemda to be able to talk about it with you guys. It's how she processes things. It's how she communicates a lot of times. Which is also why I recorded show. It gives her the opportunity to talk about it if she chooses.

And I am not looking for sympathy or props. You can save your energy on that. I'm not trying to convince you of my sincerity either but I know anything I say now is tainted. Which is fair.

I'm just gonna try to do the next right thing.