[Archimedes_Screw]

I don’t know if I’m emotionally ready to listen to this episode yet. I’m so glad it’s here though.

We were foster parents first and then foster to adopt. Sam was 4 years old when he came to our home. He was so funny, caring, and curious. His birth mom had abused drugs when he was in utero. At night he would cry and bang his head on the wall. We spent months of just holding him till he fell asleep.

His mother had weekend visitations. We would meet at a gas station parking lot for the hand off. It always felt like we were putting him in danger. He would scream and cling to us. We would have to pull him off of us and give him to his birth mother. When he would come back he would silently weep. The mother wouldn’t follow her rehab plan and would miss court dates.

His mother eventually got full custody and we lost our child. On Christmas Day she texted a picture of him and of her naked ass saying that we would never see him again. It was fucking heartbreaking.

We still have his picture on the fridge and a picture in my wallet. We both think about him often even and 8 years. The Oklahoma DHS pushed for child reunification more often than not at the child’s detriment.

My heart breaks for Sam still.

My heart breaks for Channel I can’t imagine not having a stable house or not having a stable parental figure.

Thank you for this episode. I’m so glad Channel was able to tell her story. I just don’t think I can listen to it as I’m crying typing this out.

If you have questions about fostering and adoption please ask.