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Oooh. I found my shit story email. Copypasta:
Someone else is giving the shits for me, and they are abundant.
Your show #1350 reminded me of a story from a number of years back when I was living in LA.
I was walking down Robertson Blvd, just East of Pico (Pico is the dividing line between fancy Beverly Hills stores (West), and places like halfway houses (East)). I had my son with me, who was about 8 or 9 at the time.
We were just walking and chatting when I looked up ahead to see a guy kind of creepily standing on the sidwewalk. We kept walking but I was on alert.
As we got closer it appeared as if he was urinating on the grass between the sidewalk and the street. It was mid-day, so I thought that was very strange. I kind of made a wide loop around the guy to keep us safe from the possible crazy, but to keep me close enough to satisfy my curiosity.
As we got closer, I looked at the guy, and it looked like he was squeezing oatmeal out of the front of his pants. That's when my nostrils filled with the smell of human shit. I realized he was squeezing runny shit out of his zipper. I must be clueless, because I was still wondering, out-loud what that was all about when my son mentioned "It looked like he was holding a candy bar."
That's when I realized he was masturbating with his own shit, mid-day, a mile from Beverly Hills. I can still smell if every time I re-tell the story.
--
Marykae Owens
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