[Enunciated Piffle]

Oh no. I just found this.

There's so much bad fucked up shit I've done to people on these forums. I wouldn't know where to start. The vicious stuff to guys was evil. Just plain mean and for no reason., The hitting on every female member of this community creepy. I have a daughter. I wouldn't forgive what I have said, or even worse, the douchey way in which I did it.

What a weird ep. I came here trying to figure out what happened to Danny. This was the one damn show I didn't listen to. I couldn't tell it was about me at first. I don't treat people, (male or female) the way I have here online, in real life. When I heard Emily's name - I knew it was me. I remember posting something creepy about her appearance.

I know I've sexually harassed and hurt female forum members who made it clear they wanted nothing to do with me.

I'm not gonna say meth and alcohol made me do it. There's a part of me that is that guy. Anytime I woke up or calmed down I was disgusted by the words next to Enunciated Piffle. I deleted em hoping that guy was just a character I made up. It wasn't me.

I used to have a photographic memory. But being blackout drunk or up for days on meth have taken a lot away. Listening to this I was hoping maybe only parts of the stuff mentioned were me. I don't consider myself transphobic. But I'm sure I did hurt Chemda and her ex. Also hitting on or commenting in a creepy way - there's just no excuses I have.

There's so much here I want to apologize or at least let the people that I've hurt know that I do understand what I did. My stomach is in knots from going over ALL the weird creepy sociopathic damage I've done.

Since 2016, I've wondered if I should write Keith and Chemda an apology letter. One thing that Andrea didn't include , (or maybe she did - that was pretty well crafted nonsense) was the KATG fan who was in a wheel chair. I decided to make his life hell. Even though I've been suicidal, know how it feels, I did everything to hurt him. I encouraged him to kill himself. Almost immediately he disappeared from forums. That's something I think about. Often.

I often wondered why there wasn't a direct, "Quit being a psycho or get off forums." I get it now. I wouldn't want to deal with a manipulative strange guy in Montana either. It's weird. I always wondered if there was like a pre-katg ep where everyone's sharing how disgusting I am. Now I know.

I think the worst part is I just started listening to Andrea's podcast Hot Mess. I follow her on IG as Jcanines. I'll stop following her. Fuck. I am a psycho. I just emailed Hot Mess about their merch.

I don't know what I said to Andrea. I really liked Danny's show. I remember feeling like she was taking it away form him. Then it sounds like I followed that up by sexually harassing her. I hate slimy guys. I knew I had anger problems but hearing about a list of women, I think I've been creepy with most of female comics on here.

I wish I knew what to do in terms of making this right. I appreciate being called out. For years I only held on to not showing up for MNIK. Being a vicious bully or weird. I didn't realize how many other crime-like crimes I committed.

The only thing I can say is that I do have empathy. I don't want to creep anyone out. Comedy is the only thing I really care about. It makes me sick knowing comics I admire can't even look at me like a fan. But I've been a predator. I guess I told myself I was being a fan. I know better.

If Andrea reads this. Thank you. This hey psycho we see you was brilliant. This shitty open mic'r is going to quit being delusional. And stop.

I'm truly sorry.