Quote:
Originally Posted by September
First, Chu do you have any supportive black women in your life?
Second, Chu have you talked to black people or other black people who had a similar experience of feeling rejected by other black people for being "different"? I think that having that conversation with a group of nonblack people vs. a group of black people definitely yields different levels of understanding...which is why you're still where you are.
You're expression of attraction to racist white men on this episode has definitely gave me insight of the issue you expressed in the last episode. A black person who is comfortable with their unique experience of blackness and is problack never has to question whether or not they are a coon because they align with blackness in a larger frame separate from its proximity or juxtaposition to whiteness/white folks.
You have a clear affinity for "whiteness" (which is not an anomaly - as it's ingrained in every society that's effected by white supremacy/western imperialism) and those black kids saw that in you when you were young..as black people tend to have a higher racial IQ and sensitivity than other races. They likely weren't bothered that you hung around white kids, they were bothered that you thought white people were better than black people. You remember the sting of rejection for embracing white people, but do you remember how you behaved toward or thought of those same black kids in relationship to your white friends?
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"First, Chu do you have any supportive black women in your life? "
My mom, and some friends online.
"which is why you're still where you are."
Ew, I don't like that. Where "Am" I exactly? And yes I've had a few talks with other "different" black people, and they all have similar experiences as me. Also, why do we all have to be the same as black people? Maybe if my "differences" were embraced early enough, I wouldn't have felt so rejected my black people by like 3rd grade.
"comfortable with their unique experience of blackness "
My experience of blackness is my parents explaining racism to me as a child, and then me moving around every two-three years because of the military, so to me as a kid who was only worried about making friends I didn't seek out or prioritize making Black friends, I wanted to be friends with whomever wanted to be friends with me. Oh what's that, the black males always found a way to single me out and other me? Damn that sucks. Now tell me, how are you gonna blame 9 year old me for that?
"they were bothered that you thought white people were better than black people"
That's unfortunate that they projected that idea that ONTO me. You can't find a single spot in history where I said out of my mouth that white people were better than black people.
"You remember the sting of rejection for embracing white people, but do you remember how you behaved toward or thought of those same black kids in relationship to your white friends?"
I remember always being made to feel like an asshole for what I liked, listened to, spoke about, by black kids (not all, mostly males). How did I behave toward or think about the same black kids? I didn't have time to think about that while Tony Wanzer (black) was berating me because he
overheard me say "Shut your pie hole!" as a 12 year old. For WEEKS he made me feel small and like shit for saying a silly phrase.