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I listen to Dan Savage and I think he often has valuable thoughts.
He often said that it is normal and common to be attracted to something somehow dangerous and problematic ( the kind of white men who were mean to you in the past) , something about controlling it while building it into your phantasy.
It’s like some women are into the phantasy of being taken by force, but only with someone they are into. They want it, yes, but on their terms, they don’t want to be taken by some disgusting asshole.
You like what you like, and when it’s not hurting anyone, enjoy.
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