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Old 08-08-2020, 03:29 AM   #3 (permalink)
Apia resurrected
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2020
Location: Niedernhausen, Germany
Posts: 2,020
My parents are hard to describe.
There are some things in the past they did, that sound awful especially from today’s point of view.

Like hitting me. Maybe not for pretending to be Spider-Man, especially because we lived in socialist Poland and no one knew who Spider-Man was.
But for accidentally destroying something in the house for example.
Than again, in Poland in the 80-ies it was absolutely normal to hit your kids. I remember talking with my classmates about different methods and intensity.
Still it was awful.

They were very strict and had extremely high expectations. Only As were acceptable for them, and even when we moved countries and I had to learn a new language, the expectations didn’t adjust. They compared me to everyone they thought was more successful. My father has some racist tendencies, but at least he shuts up when I tell him that I don’t tolerate it. My mother is a very dominant woman who would control my life if I wouldn’t be able to set boundaries. But she is also funny.

On the other hand they told me that they loved me and I knew they did. They are extremely supportive, financially responsible, very good with money, no alcoholics. They took our dogs on when we traveled somewhere we couldn’t take them for 2-3 weeks, because they loved to see us see the world. They helped us to buy our first house ( a loan without interest) and they say now that they are proud and even admitted to past mistakes. Now in pandemic times they helped a lot with the kids, so Mr. Apia and I could work in a normal way)

Now retired, they moved to a place about 1 km from us, and the relationship got better. I think because now it’s possible to see them more often for a shorter time, like visiting them for coffee on Sunday for an hour and not feeling guilty for leaving. They know they will see us soon again so not every heavy topic must be talked about every time. Now it’s often uncomplicated when we see each other.
My mother and I text often ( or do voice messages) and it’s easy. She gets jokes, luckily.
My father was never creepy in any way that I have seen.
So I have to say overall it’s ok? Especially compared to others?

Last edited by Apia resurrected; 08-08-2020 at 03:35 AM.
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