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Batteries that feed on human blood

OK we've got robots in homes, robots on the battlefield and now they use human blood as fuel. We need to stop this before it gets any worse! I'm tempted to just start dismantling every electronic device in my home now. If only I didn't love KATG and TV so much.

Batteries Feed on Blood

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Yesterday researchers at the University of British Colombia in Vancouver announced that they'd created a tiny battery (pictured) that could draw power from human blood. They're basically cyborg batteries, half biological and half technological.

The batteries are designed for use in pacemakers and other implantable medical devices. A small colony of yeast lives inside each battery, and this living core of the fuel cell can draw energy from glucose (sugar) in blood flowing around it. According to New Scientist:

"The yeast-based fuel cell produces around 40 nanowatts of power, compared to the microwatt a typical wristwatch battery might produce, Chaio says. That might be enough power for some devices if it were coupled with a capacitor to allow energy to be stored. The yeast could also be genetically engineered to boost its power output."

Now that we can have bio-batteries implanted in our bodies, we're well on the road to becoming cyborgs. We can become biological organisms implanted with technology that is in turn implanted with biological organisms.

Finally, a use for menstrual blood.

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Originally Posted by dzagama (Post 553273)

Finally, a use for menstrual blood.

Somebody notify www.babeland.com .

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Originally Posted by John Galt (Post 553332)

Somebody notify www.babeland.com .

Business idea? Let's do it!

Several years ago, I was at a psychology conference with some other students and a prof, and the event people had us do this human factors design exercise as an icebreaker. Our group was paired up with these high-dollar designers from a major textbook company. We were supposed to design a new cell phone.

Our idea was to design a phone with no buttons. It would have a touch screen that could take on different appearances and configurations for different apps, e.g., calculator, phone, note pad, etc. Well, these designers just cracked up. They said, "No buttons? Ha ha ha. Who would want a phone with no buttons? Ha ha ha. Slurp." We gave in and gave them four buttons, for what purpose I don't know... four big black buttons on the sides. They were really rude and condescending about it. I bet they all have iPhones now. Tight turtle neck-wearing jerks.

Anyhow, part of our design was to use energy derived from the body for power--no batteries. So, the phone would be burning calories. People who are on the phone all the time would say, "Man, I don't normally eat brownies with chocolate chips and whipped cream, but I need the minutes." Imagine that, a phone that burns calories. It would put an end to anorexia and bulemia--talk all you want, eat all you want.

P.S. None of the high-dollar doofuses had the wherewithal to present our idea (I only say our idea, because they did contribute a pretty picture), so I did. You should have seen peoples eyes light up when I said the thing about burning calories. They were like, "Yeah! Sign me up AT&T!"