47: The Empath
 

Aldo Caballero joins Loverboy Xerxes as Keith continues his groundbreaking series – the best show ever did - with Chemda’s full disclosure of her marriage, divorce, and how she’s learning to move on.

Guests:
Aldo
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Chemda
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Xerxes Silverio
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all kinds of feels. if you don’t have VIP, shame on you, get it now for this.

Superhearts Chemda.

Well, even a broken thing is right thing.

Best show ever did! That was awesome to be a part of a live MNIK.

Keith, never stop yelling questions at people. I love it.

Chemda, you’re amazing. How you managed to keep it together during this is beyond me.

Keith, this truly is the best show ever did.

Aldo and Xerxes, you both are wonderful friends.

And also, didn’t think I could love Ron more. What a great sweet guy.

Amazing episode! It was hard to listen to, how somebody could do that to another person.
I'm so glad you are in a better place now with Xerxes and everything.

Finally, I had to share this link to a Norwegian pop song that reminds me so much of this situation: https://youtu.be/eSAL7T3a63s

"talked a lot and said nothing"

Fucking yes.

Damn just damn.


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I’ve had more time to process. As Chemda said, classic narcissist behavior. I don’t blame her for wanting to take a year off. I don’t blame her for having PTSD. 9 years of dealing with a narcissist is fucking rough. They are so charming and so good and making you feel dumb and crazy. No wonder Chemda got the question everything tattoo. To realize that this person, you who’ve invested almost 9 years of your life, of your blood sweat and tears, never really cared/loved you, fucking heart breaking. No one deserves this, especially Chemda.

Her and Xerxes makes more sense. He is someone she’s been friends with for over 10 years. She knows his habits, the way he communicates. He is safe. And clearly that is what she needs. I understand not wanting to label something. It seems like as soon as you label a relationship there is this arbitrary timeline where people start pressuring people to start meeting-which isn’t what is needed right now.

Chemda, I hope the divorce is smooth and drama free and that soon you can be free from this emotional cancer in your life. Totally understand why you wouldn’t want to talk to your father in law about it. He hasn’t had the best luck with his kids and to hear that yet another one is a fuck up-not really a burden you should have to bear. I’m glad you have him though. Very sweet that he jumped on a plan to help you. That is a true father right there.


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This was cringey to listen to. Not like a bad show, more like watching The Office UK, but with stakes.

Xerxes, what little I picked up from him when I met him, is a really cool guy, I'm ready to move forward and hear more Xerxes stories.

Pretty done with H stories.

I remember Chemda dropping random bombs during shows like H "just needing to Shut UP sometimes" and something like "all marriages are lies!" When someone spoke of divorce. But certainly we never got the timeline and details we got in this ep.

I figured you were kinda referencing Keith's still somewhat recent divorce or only talking about H not being reliable with money. That seemed like such a big and specific issue that I didn't think you could talking around such traumatic events. This show was so good to hear. The perspective of time and the being on a fuck app really signifies how fucked up things were. Also good to hear these definitions of empath and narcissist. Sub out empath for codependent and that's my ass for sure.

In the episode The Scream you two were in therapy together. Can I ask where that was in all this? After you threw him out? I think you mentioned that you yelled at him more either in another session or after, what was the about? About the lies you mention catching him in here?

This episode was heartbreaking. I'm happy Chemda's healing and moving on. Jeebus....

Therapy was a week or two after I kicked him out.

We only went twice. In between the first and second Andrea told me what happened in LA. when I confronted him he didn’t admit it so I freaked out.

I called him later that day after being in the apple store for three hours and yelled at him all the way home on my bike.

I now know the best response is no response. I’m not changing anyone and I don’t want to explain myself or learn more about people who treat me like shit.




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Wild
 

Listening to Chemda's story was like I was in a wild déjà vu with a conversation I had weeks ago. A friend of mine has been separated from her narcissistic husband for 18 months, and her story is SO SIMILAR to yours. The weird lying, the dead-eyed gaslighting, the time pre-divorce when they were "trying to fix it" but she was doing all the work and he did nothing. We live in a different country (Canada), we speak a different language (french), but GIRL it's the same. damn. playbook.

I just wanted to know that your feelings are right. You felt the right things the whole time. You also weren't wrong for loving someone. You are an awesome person, and he needed your awesomeness to fill in his emptiness.

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

Listening to all these details is just enraging. And it makes so many more things make sense.

When dipshit went on that retreat to Hawaii, I remember you mentioning it on the show and I was kind of annoyed by it, and I didn't even know the backstory about the problems that were happening between the two of you. I just remember having this clear thought about him like "WOW MUST BE NICE, Chemda does all the work and stays responsible and you can go shut the fuck up in Hawaii for a few weeks, cool neato great for you wow." Now, knowing the circumstances involved in his Hawaiian meditation retreat, superfuck him all the way and back.

Chemda, honestly, the way you have handled all the hard times with such grace, introspection and strength is amazing. You're a good person with a good heart, and I'm so sorry this happened to you from someone who you trusted with everything.

The first memory I have of Hennessy is during a KATG week when there was still the 'Chemda and Keith are still a couple' fakery going on.

We were at the Viva Patshiva show and Chemda was being a lovely host and welcoming people hugging and greeting her fans. And then Hennessy walked by grabbed her by the arm and pulled her away saying something dismissive about how she is needed elsewhere.
Felt aggressive and rude at the time but I dismissed it as 'yeah of course stuff needs to happen on show day'
That memory flashed instantly into my mind when Chemda mentioned jealousy issues and irrational anger even at the very early stages of the relationship.

Hugs Chemda, it makes me really happy that you are taking such good care of yourself now!

Well this sure made me return to VIP.

Anyone who enjoyed this episode (or who hasn't been able to access this episode!) will enjoy Chemda's recent appearance on Hot Mess Comedy Hour.