OK.

This is why I love your cold, dead heart.

Not in a gay way, I don't want to fuck it. The logistics alone would be complicated.

Alas that something so mundane as logistics should stand in the way of our love being consumated.

"I'm a walking trip to military school" is brilliant.

Someone suggesting that there is "too many metaphors" aka good writing...not so much.

Piff old bean, I disagree that there is no such thing as too many metaphors but I agree that "I'm a walking trip to military school" is brilliant. So how am I supposed to decide whether to like the post or not?

Oh look, a Jesus Lizard quote in your sig.

LIKE.

I'm not sure you can teach someone how to write a good/ original metaphor; or an analogy for that matter. Danny has a gift with words. His writing being critiqued out of left field was just kind of odd.

O to the motherfucking G. Just got turned onto The Jesus Lizard's 'Pure' and holy fuck! Abrasive. Loud. Beautiful.

Also, I was trying to plagiarize the nerdy-ness of certain Mountain Goat fans.

I think you can have gift of a mind for metaphor the same way a cinematographer can have a gift of an eye for framing or an architect can have a gift of vision for 3D spaces, but that doesn't mean it's not useful for a gifted person to receive feedback from someone who knows the game, and she seems like she knows that game. It was "odd" in this case in that it was unexpected, but it was also "odd" funny, because of Danny's other gift of creative jokery and comedic timing.

The funniest interview I've ever heard wasn't with a comedian but with David Yow when The Jesus Lizard came to NZ in the mid-late 90s. He came on Auckland's student radio station, at least half cut, a couple of days before they were to play a festival sharing the bill with Rage Against The Machine and about 85% of the 12-15 minute interview was Yow pretty much roasting RATM mercilessly. "Objectively" it probably was less funny that some comedian interviews but I've always remembered it because it was so unexpected and it was the first interview I ever heard which had me bent double with laughter.

At the start of their set a couple of days later, on a huge stage in a big stadium at about 5 in the arvo on a summer's eve, The Jesus Lizard kicks into gear and David Yow walks from the back of the stage to the front of the stage, then just keeps walking out onto the heads and hands of the crowd, all while delivering his particularly David Yow-type of vocal performance. They proceeded to blow RATM off the stage and I proceeded to become a fan for life.

Whoa. That's so badass! Love me some David Yow. Never had the privilege of seeing them live. Hope to some day. Don't know if they're even a band or tour any more.

I did see Jesus Lizard's guitarist a couple years ago in the band Th' Legendary Shack Shakers. It was a great show. Their lead singer is kind of a punk/rockabilly/blues version of David Yow. Actually, he is compared to Jello Biafra of old. Just a great, fun lead singer. Got their album and wasn't terribly impressed, but highly recommend them live. Energy x 2 + Stage Presence.

Oh. So, I was gonna get Duane's signature and what not. I'm like "Hey, I'm a big Jesus Lizard fan - can I buy ya a beer?" He gave me the most disgusted look and was like 'Got a bowl?' I didn't. 'Well let me go backstage and change, I'll be out"

Lol. I never saw him again. Meanwhile, the lead singer has got 2 chicks and signing shit and taking pics and everyone's best friend.

I think about that show. The fact everyone but Duane was pouring sweat, rocking, having fun. He was just kind of standing there. Shuffling through chords with zero emotion. He seemed like a child at a guitar lesson. Just going through the motions...

I noticed he was playing a white electric First Act guitar, which is a shit, cheap-o Walmart thing. I don't think he's happy. I think he's broke and wishing Jesus Lizard were still around. Anyways.

Hey, have you ever seen any shows in the States? You into 'Les Savy Fav' at all?

What are some good New Zealand bands?

That's going to be a fucking short list.

The 2nd shortest list in the world.

With the shortest being "Great Jewish Sporting Legends"

Perhaps there's a correlation between me posting drunk on an internet forum and everyone hating me...nah. Prolly not.