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Michael's Servant 02-14-2014 11:00 AM

50: Karaoke is Not Therapy
 
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Fan Questions:
Brother Love,
Been a fan of yours since I heard you on KATG years ago. I have all your albums and especially love the new band! Thanks for putting out so much content.
I'd love to hear your opinion on my situation. I'm 29, got married a year ago, we've been together for 4 years, I'm straight, male, give a bunch of Newlywed shits.
My wife and I have been living together since one year into our relationship. We live well together. We both make decent salaries that afford us a reasonable and fun living since we budget really well.
Recently, my wife started talking about buying a house. She has read in a bunch of places that it's still a buyer's market and started researching houses in our area.
I looked at the info and she's right. Houses are still more affordable and lower in cost than usual but here's the thing, I don't want to go to that level of debt and commitment for a house. I know that we can afford it and that our living space would be bigger but I hate the thought of being tied to some bricks.
What if one of us lose our job? What if the neighborhood changes? What if we change where we want to live.
She's talking about building equity and being able to sell if we want out.
I don't think it's that simple. I think it'll burden what we have going now.
Am I being stubborn?
Thanks for your thoughts.
Trent

-------------------

Dear Brother Love,
I always turn on your show to escape, laugh, and feel warm. You never disappoint.
Please pick my question to read on your show. Even if you have no advice, I'd love to hear from the audience and get some response to my issue.
My husband and I have been together for 10 years. We are in our early 40s, We've had a great relationship full of love and support.
The problem is that he lost his job 6 months ago. He's been looking for a new one for a while but the market is terrible. About 2 months ago, it seemed like he's slowed down in his pursuit of a new job. At first, I thought he needed some time. It's hard to get rejected and it's really hard to even find an interview to get rejected from.
But lately, he seems to be out of commission. He stopped helping with household duties. A chore that he took on to help while I cover all the bills.
He stays in bed most of the time. He doesn't take care of himself and seemed to be checked out of our relationship.
He's depressed.
I don't know what to do. I know that it's hard to deal with this issue but I feel like we have an equal amount to deal with and he's leaving me hanging.
I don't want to make him feel worse but I don't want to watch him and our relationship wither away.
Please help me by reading this on your show and I'll secretly look through the forums for people's response. I'm hoping that someone has dealt with something similar so that I can hear a personal perspective.
I'd love your thoughts on this, of course. I love how open you are about your life and your struggles. I think that you would have a lot to add to help me through this.
Thank you so much for your show! And thank you for reading this!!
Love love love,
Cheryl

shoebootie 02-19-2014 09:26 AM

Maybe a condo or a townhouse could be a good compromise? That way, any major repairs or changes (like a roof, siding, painting) can be taken care of by the HOA. It can be more apartment-like as far as maintenance goes... there's less construction type projects potentially that you'd have to take care of, usually a smaller yard. It depends where you live and what kind of community you look into.

It's for these reasons that my boyfriend and I will look into a condo or townhouse when it comes to home ownership. I know that I am the more handy one... I bring the toolbox to this relationship! I know what I can and can't do when it comes to home improvement work and what I can count on being able to learn.

And if anyone in Home Depot EVER EVER EEEEVER tried to tell me "this is a project for your boyfriend" when I'm looking for supplies, I'd straight away go to a manager and report that misogynistic bullshit. Women use tools too, dammit.


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