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-   -   3: Solar System of Jizz (https://www.keithandthegirl.com/forums/f31/3-solar-system-jizz-17596/)

Keith 02-27-2013 04:39 PM

3: Solar System of Jizz
 
Lauren and co-host Emmy count up to the bottom 10 things to gift a lover. Ever.
With special guest Chemda aka The Girl.


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Emmy's job application:
http://i479.photobucket.com/albums/r...ps61d4b93d.jpg
http://i479.photobucket.com/albums/r...psea4df39d.jpg
http://i479.photobucket.com/albums/r...ps3d446c0c.jpg

Lauren's Gingerbread House:
http://i479.photobucket.com/albums/r...ps6d9ee69c.jpg
http://i479.photobucket.com/albums/r...ps77f769e6.jpg

Chemda's Gingerbread House
http://i479.photobucket.com/albums/r...ps325f5d33.jpg

Abby 02-28-2013 07:10 AM

I'm not back at work yet, and therefore can't afford this, but I love Lauren so I got VIP anyways! Can't wait to hear what I've been missing!!

littlp 02-28-2013 07:36 PM

Hilarious. I love Lauren's Britney impression. I loved that you guys also came up with better gift ideas. I personally don't mind the chocolates and flowers, but I don't REQUIRE them. My husband and I basically wait until we really want something to get it rather than doing it during a specific occasion. It works out better all around, especially for our budget.

bw81 02-28-2013 07:51 PM

You guys really hit your stride this episode; hilarious and well paced. Loved it.

These are gifts to or from lovers but they are shitty enough for me to share;

For Christmas a couple of years ago my aunt bought me a donkey. But I didn't even get to pet the fuckin thing, it was a donkey bought for some village apparently. So in my Christmas card there is a little card saying, "The WhoKnowsIfThisPlaceExistsVille Village in Whosawheresadatta now has their own donkey to assist in farming and..." I can't remember the rest but seriously.

This same aunt bought my daughter a little llama doll thing made with real llama hair! As if the real llama hair makes it better.

My sister bought my wife and I as a combined present for Christmas, a small plastic shitty measuring jug half filled with some chocolates.

I have bought some of the gifts on your shit list for my wife but she seemed to like them at the time. I will now go home and grovel and apologize since the err of my ways has been put on full blast with a bucket of sass.

Hennessy 03-01-2013 06:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Abby (Post 742051)
I'm not back at work yet, and therefore can't afford this, but I love Lauren so I got VIP anyways! Can't wait to hear what I've been missing!!

That's niiiiiiiiiice! You won't be disappointed. There are so many good shows!

Hennessy 03-01-2013 06:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bw81 (Post 742091)
You guys really hit your stride this episode; hilarious and well paced. Loved it.

Awesome, thank you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by bw81 (Post 742091)
For Christmas a couple of years ago my aunt bought me a donkey. But I didn't even get to pet the fuckin thing, it was a donkey bought for some village apparently.

UGH. That is awful. Just get me socks for godssakes. But maybe her intentions were good. I don't know your aunt. She just needs some guidelines. Play her this episode.

ssgtballard 03-03-2013 02:17 PM

The show was great. You guys really have a great tempo and mix of personality.

jessnyc 03-03-2013 06:08 PM

Seriously in love with this show, I've listened to each one about 5 times lol :x
Emmy and Lauren are such great cohosts!!

Hennessy 03-05-2013 03:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jessnyc (Post 742206)
Seriously in love with this show, I've listened to each one about 5 times lol :x
Emmy and Lauren are such great cohosts!!

Awwww, thanks buddy!

mer09007 03-06-2013 10:40 AM

"Umm I fuck my dad all the time"

This is why I adore these two.

mer09007 03-06-2013 11:45 AM

Oh and worst gift was a bracelet that said "cutie". It was over. Right then.

Bucho 03-06-2013 01:44 PM

Criticism for this episode.

1. Wanted it to last longer. (That's what she said?)

That is all.

SNACKS 03-06-2013 06:12 PM

SWAAAAG
 
we thank the podcast gods for blessing us with the holy trinity of radio in hennessey, emmy and chemdawg for this episode. thank you podgods, for only you knew that a show based on talking shit about the stuff we hate would be something we love. good list, good show.

p.s. when you said my name I felt like a giddy little kid inside. I had to celebrate with a fat one and some muthafuckin snacks in the name of bottoms up!

can't wait for the next episode

rosie314 03-12-2013 09:35 AM

I love this show more than I ever thought possible. It's going to suck waiting for the next episode. HURRY ! !

I'm pretty sure I've given each of the crappy gifts listed - at least once.

You guys play perfectly off of each other. Lauren - don't doubt yourself or worry if you sound mean. The meaner the better !

Idea for a show : The bottom 10 things you've said, done or thought while high or drunk

thelastknowngod 03-14-2013 08:24 PM

Catching up on episodes.. This was a good one. :-)

Worst gifts I've gotten haven't been from significant others, they've been from my little brother. Homeboy does not know how to get a gift.

I think I was 24 or so and he gave me a toy Wall-e thing. I'm like.. WTF do I do with this?

Last xmas he gave me a furry Chewbacca backpack.. great. Not only an ugly backpack that is too small to fit anything in, it also sheds.

Personally, I only like giving people a consumable of some type. I sent a bunch of friends and family 3 different loose leaf tea sample packs and paper filters in case they didn't have a tea strainer or good teapot. I made sure to get two types that were really unusual with intense flavors and one simple but high quality tea that I thought most anyone would appriciate. Thought that covered a bunch of bases.. "I'm thinking of you, here is something you would probably like, and here is a few that you may not know you like yet."

If I'm dating someone I definitely get something a bit more specific to the person but never really like buying something they wouldn't use and/or appriciate. I still prefer consumables.. We're adults. If I wanted something I would buy it myself.

Hennessy 03-22-2013 09:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thelastknowngod (Post 742679)
Worst gifts I've gotten haven't been from significant others, they've been from my little brother. I think I was 24 or so and he gave me a toy Wall-e thing. I'm like.. WTF do I do with this?
Last xmas he gave me a furry Chewbacca backpack..

This is where a gift card would come in handy. Gift cards from brothers are totally acceptable.

Hennessy 03-22-2013 09:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rosie314 (Post 742539)
I love this show more than I ever thought possible. It's going to suck waiting for the next episode. HURRY ! !

Ok! Done! Thank you!

Scumhook 04-16-2013 05:59 AM

still listening but lmao @ "would you like a side of mash with that"

Enunciated Piffle 04-22-2013 01:51 AM

1. Fuck! I need to re-up my VIP these spin-offs are super fun and totally KatG...minus the K...hint of G in this one was dee-lish ;) Always down to hear about Lauren and Chemda's relationship although, Jesus Christ guys, don't you guys have any real problems besides not spending enough time w/ each other?? Geez. And Lol ;)

This particular episode should be mandatory for all dudes and although I'm not too douche-y when it comes to holidays and b-day gifts it did help as a reminder not to be a lazy bitch and/ or what some gifts really mean. I'm not too familiar w/ those e-card things, but it was hilarious when Lauren was like, "You just signed me up for 650 spam letters - thanks!'

Lauren had a great quote that was like "Don't make flowers the main thing - make them the 'garnish' to the thing" which I found very poetic and true.

Also just wanted to reiterate upon the brilliant banter between Emmy and Lauren. Loved how Emmy made some crack about her dad being her valentine and then Lauren came right back on it w/ something like 'Well your dad's a shitty lover' or something. Really funny stuff. Hell, it sounds like a professional radio show w/ hosts who have been doing it for awhile. Ya know? Course you do.

Lastly, I'm w/ SNACKS and everyone else who writes on the forums and has their shit read on the show. It's exciting to hear your name, (fuck yeah I'm a fanboy) but even more so to hear it pronounced correctly, BUT EVEN MORE SO to hear that the host knows the definition to some obscure word such as piffle, which as Lauren correctly said means: nonsense! It's my own stupid little saying 'Enunciate the piffle!' or emphasis the nothing as I take nothing serious. You must smoke some nice sativas cuz that was pretty fucking brilliant there, stony ;)

So, let's recap: new favorite spin-off!

Hennessy 04-26-2013 06:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Enunciated Piffle (Post 744247)
So, let's recap: new favorite spin-off!

I'M WINNING!!!! @KeithMalley @Chemda @BrotherLove @DANNYHATCH

dannyhatch 04-26-2013 07:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hennessy (Post 744547)
I'M WINNING!!!! @KeithMalley @Chemda @BrotherLove @DANNYHATCH

Uh huh.

Enunciated Piffle 04-26-2013 08:16 PM

Dude. Don't you have a co-host? Emmy is...winning, as well.

Earl Dukes 04-26-2013 08:44 PM

Yes, but if, as you say, Emmy is also winning, then wouldn't that mean Lauren, too, is winning? Hmmmm???

Enunciated Piffle 04-26-2013 10:57 PM

My immediate response would be...
 

...get on the dance floor Earl

Hennessy 04-27-2013 02:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Enunciated Piffle (Post 744550)
Dude. Don't you have a co-host? Emmy is...winning, as well.

Holy shit what was I thinking??? Emmy, I'm sorry!

WE'RE WINNING!!! @EmeraldGritty

Enunciated Piffle 04-27-2013 07:05 AM

I believe it was the great Charlie Sheen who once said, "Winner Winner, Chicken Dinner."

The End

Earl Dukes 04-27-2013 07:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Enunciated Piffle (Post 744559)
...get on the dance floor Earl

Not sure what you're trying to say.

For the record: I was born to dance.

Lastly, that song is crying for a remix.

Hennessy 07-15-2013 08:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Earl Dukes (Post 744551)
Yes, but if, as you say, Emmy is also winning, then wouldn't that mean Lauren, too, is winning? Hmmmm???

I won an Emmy!


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