49: The Bottom

[memecherry]

Originally Posted by craigklein

- sorry, but imo, he didn't say anything (of substance) at all.
other than self absorbed highlights of his calculated manipulation of the people he called friends. and even then, i guarantee, they were half truths at very best.

the cruelest thing that those who care about him can do now is sugar coat the truth or reward such a fake attempt at repentance.

Your opinion... I have mine...

I consider Hennessy a friend & am going to give him the support I would give any of my other friends that are trying to do better & be better...

It's personally very hard for me to ask for help during trying emotional times, so I won't kick somebody down when they are reaching out of the darkness & trying to shed some light...

Is he perfect? No

Does he owe us the public anything? Double No

I just want Henny to get better. I want Chemda to heal. I want life to give them both better things & I want them both to have a chance live a better life.

[craigklein]

i respect that compassion.
and don't at all think i have all the answers to what im sure is a complicated situation.

that being said, calling that 'recording' anything but an attempt to save face by underhandedly martyring his self, on his terms, without any real cross examination is enabling...

or at least maybe im right.

[skyelo]

As someone in a similar relationship:

Im tired of dudes apologizing.
Of being proud of a few months of self work.
Of explainging their bullshit behavior under the guise of accountability.
I think Hennesey would have shown more growth by not doing this episode.
Im truly just tired of dudes.
I should go to AlAnon
I actually think its more powerful if Chemda doesnt respond.
I really look up to all the growth Chemda has committed to and the work she has done.

[Bucho]

I like the thrust of the thing - that Hennessy wanted this out there so Chemda doesn't have to waste energy defending him.

But man it suuuuuuuucks to know a soul as beautiful as Chemda's had to suffer all he put her through.

Originally Posted by skyelo

As someone in a similar relationship:

Im tired of dudes apologizing.
Of being proud of a few months of self work.
Of explainging their bullshit behavior under the guise of accountability.
I think Hennesey would have shown more growth by not doing this episode.
Im truly just tired of dudes.
I should go to AlAnon
I actually think its more powerful if Chemda doesnt respond.
I really look up to all the growth Chemda has committed to and the work she has done.

Sounds like you need to go to DudeAnon.

[memecherry]

Originally Posted by Apia

Shouldn’t a person also be accountable for their actions to get better? No matter the backstory?
Without us finding excuses and applauding everything?

He didn’t have to say anything. But he did and now I have thoughts.

Accountability is yes part of the process...

And yes we are all entitled to our feedback...

I also have my own issues re: forgiving easily the folks I love & it’s part of my processing in my life too. I don’t mean to “be too easy” just harder for me to not feel empathy...

[Hennessy]

No it's not everything. It's what some of the more fucked up things were. I understand you not "buying the show". I'm a bullshitter.

I'm not expecting anything from you guys or Chemda. I recorded it not knowing if she'd post it or not.
Im not trying to justify my actions and if I was doing that, I really was trying not to.

It was hard for the words to come out. To admit to that shit that I hate myself for. To relive the way I hurt the most beautiful and important thing in my life. And to be clear with my words and not get too justify-ey. Maybe I failed. I hate the way I sound on it too.
And I really don't THINK I'm lying about lying to show what not a liar I am but Im just going to go kill myself now.

I know it doesnt matter why I did anything I did and what my trauma is. I wanted to apologize. I wanted Chemda to be able to talk about it with you guys. It's how she processes things. It's how she communicates a lot of times. Which is also why I recorded show. It gives her the opportunity to talk about it if she chooses.

And I am not looking for sympathy or props. You can save your energy on that. I'm not trying to convince you of my sincerity either but I know anything I say now is tainted. Which is fair.

I'm just gonna try to do the next right thing.

[memecherry]

Originally Posted by Hennessy

I'm just gonna try to do the next right thing.

One day at a time buddy...

I thank you for your honesty (for as guarded as it is), and the honesty of the KATG community.

Makes me hold a mirror up to my BS/Issues/Trauma.

Sending you love Henny & sending a TON of love to Chemmy.

[Hennessy]

Just realized it was also less than two weeks after my top surgery and I had two drains coming out of my chest and a very tight binder on keeping them in place. I wasn't able to take full breaths at the time which made me sound dramatic imo.

[Lanfear]

Honestly of course I’m nosy and want to know what happened so I’m happy to be able to get this episode in my feed.

But in general I think this is all none of my business and Hennessy recording and sending this episode feels performative and pushy and like asking a group of people that have nothing to do with your relationship to feel sorry for you.

But also there are two sides of this story, Chemda stayed in this relationship for as long as she wanted and nobody forced her to release this on the KATG feed - she is in al-anon for a reason. So I’m hoping us discussing this here somehow in whatever way helps her because otherwise that to me feels just like one final ‘fuck you I control the narrative’ from him.

[skyelo]

Originally Posted by Bucho

Sounds like you need to go to DudeAnon.

Preach.