1004: Goo Goo G'joob

[Keith]

"I'm not alone. But you know that don't mean I'm not lonely."


www.BenLerman.net

Jeremy Schultz (jeremykatg) on Twitter

www.NanaCadavieco.com

[Astigos]

I always think of this Mad TV sketch whenever anyone ever mentions how the OC, Dawson's Creek, Gossip Girl, etc. are all the same.

[tga]

Having been to Bear Events myself in my time, the whistle story was too fucking funny! I can only imagine and I swear, I am tempted to do that in a darkroom in the bear club in London, so tempted!

[Sparrow]

Oh social anxiety. Haven't listened to the show, so this story is from the poll.

Some of my castmates and I performed one of our numbers at a church yesterday morning. No big deal; I've been to church before. But the room was full and I knew so few people that when everyody suddenly rose out of their seats and started the 'peace be with you' my blood pressure shot through the roof, my breathing shortened and quickened, and I got dizzy. It was the noise, the strangers, the bodies close in moving around. I can outwardly maintain pretty well, but inside I was freaking. the fuck. out. It took a few minutes before the clamminess and the shaking went away. It happens in malls a lot, too. and grocery store aisles with too many people.

If any of you have had a real conversation with me, you'll know how less articulate I am in speech than in word.

[gumby013]

To clarify a few things:

New York has not made me lonely...I have been this way for as long as I can remember. I am awful at making friends. I haven't really ever opened up to anyone ever. I went 5 years in Arkansas without really making any friends. Sure, I knew people, but they never knew me.

I haven't ever dated. I search for girlfriends instead. I have never been on just a single date. (save the cruise crew chick...I don't remember her name) My shortest relationship was six months. There is normally a huge crash and burn at the end because I can't open up. Then I shut down for a couple years. My first girlfriend lasted 3 years...and the shut down depression lasted 4 years.

I have huge social anxiety issues. I know it. I have tried in the past to fix myself, but nothing worked. So, I have resigned myself to avoiding crowds and new people as much as possible.

[DapperDan]

I totally understand about searching for girlfriends instead of dating. I tend to go on dates and then "fall in love" fast and try to reason with myself how I could make this girl my girlfriend, even though we have nothing in common, she's boring, none of my friends dig her, and she doesn't understand my interests or humor. Then I get depressed when it doesn't work out. I still surround myself with people and am quite social, I just tend to be awkward about girlfriends and dating. I am in South Korea now and loving it, making friends, and screwing around but still can't make a meaningful connection on a girlfriend type level.

[Blitzgal]

"Better to keep your mouth closed and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt"

This is one of those quotes that no one can agree about the origin. People say Mark Twain, Groucho Marx, and even Abraham Lincoln! It sounds like Twain to me, but who knows? There is also a Confucius saying that is similar.

[Lanfear]

I function quite well in crowds and with new people while its happening but I do have some mild "nobody loves me, I'm ugly/uninteresting/fat/stupid/unhip who needs friends anyway" panic attacks before and after - nothing major more a general "wow they called/emailed/talked to me me that must mean they like me how did that happen?" mood.

Making friends when you get older (I'd say after university) is just hard work and it still surprises me every time when it happens.

[gumby013]

Originally Posted by Lanfear

I function quite well in crowds and with new people while its happening but I do have some mild "nobody loves me, I'm ugly/uninteresting/fat/stupid/unhip who needs friends anyway" panic attacks before and after - nothing major more a general "wow they called/emailed/talked to me me that must mean they like me how did that happen?" mood.

Making friends when you get older (I'd say after university) is just hard work and it still surprises me every time when it happens.

Well, if it helps at all, you were one of my favorite people from April 15th.

[Lanfear]

Originally Posted by gumby013

Well, if it helps at all, you were one of my favorite people from April 15th.

ahh you're such a charmer right back at you! Spend some money on a trip to Europe instead of the casino

And of course Thanks for introducing me to Les Halles that was really good food.