1534: I Will Always Love You

[Keith]

"I need someone to help me steal a baby."


for website and e-book work: CathrynLavery@gmail.com

[dannyhatch]

I tweet plenty of stupid things as jokes, and Chemda and Keith are right. I should probably worry about people not taking a baby stealing joke as a joke. But then again, there's that whole "humor as free speech" argument. But then, I'm not funny enough for my jokes to be free speech affirming pieces of truth and justice. And I should probably think things out more.

Thanks for looking out guys.

Also, I'm honored to have contributed the quote to the show.

[biscuitty]

Keith I hope you're pumping up some artificial outrage over the random neo-sarcastic tweets that some dumb kids are sending out, probably among thousands of others who compete to be the most "outrageous" or whatever because that's the modern equivalente of wearing cool new shoes to school. You have moments where you are the epitome of entitled white guy (get these DAMN KIDS OFF MY LAWN - there should be a law!) No offense, I just hope it's you playing Hasselbeck to Chemda's Whoopie because it's scary to see a good guying sounding more and more like my Fox News addicted grandparents.

When I was a kid in the 90's and I'm sure you guys would agree, people said fucked up things just like every other generation, our pagers just weren't capable of forwarding our bullshit texted thoughts to the police as easily, they were strictly for drug deals. Things are just so SERIOUS now and an arrest today means being in a computer system for eternity. Teaching little Jonny a lesson for stealing a candy bar by making him take it back and pay for it and apologize is a bad idea today unless you bring a lawyer.

Also - I, too, was taking a dump when I found out about Whitney. I even looked at those pics of her looking like a drunk mess at the pre-Grammy party just before the news showed up on my iphone. weird.

[sklXbns]

With all this "bad boy" talk, you two (Keith and Cat) are daring JFOD to join in on the fun. If that does happen, and the bad boy duo becomes a trio, try to let him down easy. He's a sensitive fella, that one.

[bluenova]

I just wanted to say that the bed of nails is actually not bad at all. I did it in highschool when my physics teacher brought in a bed of nails to teach us how it works. It was a little uncomfortable in certain spots(like my ankles) and you just have to be careful getting on and off.

To just be super simple about it, stepping on a nail will break skin because there is a great deal of pressure on one point. Lying on a bed of nails (that are spaced evenly and are the same height) distributes the pressure and the nails won't break skin. It also doesn't really hurt because of that. It's kinda similar to how the old "Light as a feather, Stiff as a board" game that kids played works. All the fingers help distribute the weight and it's very easy to lift someone.

[BrianAlt]

I gave her a card, she gave me a card and she told me she wants to fuck later.

Hmmm, Valentines Day isn't so bad.

[Keith]

Originally Posted by BrianAlt

I gave her a card, she gave me a card and she told me she wants to fuck later.

Hmmm, Valentines Day isn't so bad.

That's right! You might get to fuck your wife today! Congratulations!

[Medium Brumski]

Those kid-toucher stories always skeeve me out, not cause I have kids, but because I work with kids at one of my jobs. I always get worried when a kid whose only as tall as my leg runs up and gives me a hug, awkward. I put a stop to it quickly. High-fives only. Fortunately I'm never alone with the kids.




I have zero plans for Valentine's, let's see how much trouble I get in.

[Blitzgal]

The "tasting game" teacher was only caught because he sent photos in to be developed and the person at the lab called the authorities when s/he saw what was depicted in them.

[poingjam]

He sent photos to be developed? He's a kid toucher and he's still using film?