1144: The Blob

[Northwoods]

Having worked in health care in one capacity or another my entire adult life, I've run across some pretty interesting (read: fucking gross) stories. This show reminds me of one of my favorites, as told to me by one of those directly involved.

This gigantic 600-plus pound Sta-Puff marshmallow pig gets carted into the ER of the hospital in my home town with worsening abdominal pain. When the doctor performs the initial physical assessment, he asks her where the pain is. She lifts up her moomoo enough to demonstrate, and the most ungodly aroma wafts out. After he gets a couple of helping hands in the room to help hold back the rolls, he discovers a large weeping abscess deep inside one of them. The stench by this time is almost unbearable, even by medical standards. Through further discussion with the patient, along with debridement and irrigation of the wound and inspection of the contents, it was determined that the abscess was actually caused by PART OF A FUCKING TUNA SANDWICH that somehow was lost under some errant flesh. The sandwich had rotted and festered in the moist, warm environs for a couple of weeks and started eating away at her skin. The excoriated skin around the edge was actually starting to heal together around the rotting sandwich, like an ameba enveloping its meal.

You'll all be glad to know that (naturally) she was on government assistance and disability, so we all kicked in thousands of dollars for her ambulance ride, the hospital personnel man hours, supplies, and yes, probably even the sandwich fixins that got the whole thing rolling.

I deal with gangrenous limbs and tunneling bedsores on a regular basis, but that was enough to put me off my lunch for some time. (Sorry Chemda, I just HAD to share that one.) Great show! Kyle kicks much ass.