1144: The Blob
 

"I like hanging with Keith, but I'm just afraid he'll make a poll about me."


kyyyyyyle (Kyle Thompson) | MySpace

It's not that I am shitting on anyone else....it's that I don't want to open the show. I only did the standup submission for fun. I was encouraging people to not waste their vote on me. There are others that are much more deserving.

You shouldn't have entered into the competition at all then.

Because this is life or death stuff we're talking about here. I enjoyed Jeremy's submission and I'm glad I got the chance to hear it.

With all the zany crap in the news this week, we get a show devoted almost entirely to retreaded fat jokes? Fat jokes are like M Night Shyamalan films, they are great the first time you get one, but the same tired punchlines get old fast. May as well been another Keith loves Sarah Palin show.

And I was just about to donate a babillion dollars, too. meh.

Having worked in health care in one capacity or another my entire adult life, I've run across some pretty interesting (read: fucking gross) stories. This show reminds me of one of my favorites, as told to me by one of those directly involved.

This gigantic 600-plus pound Sta-Puff marshmallow pig gets carted into the ER of the hospital in my home town with worsening abdominal pain. When the doctor performs the initial physical assessment, he asks her where the pain is. She lifts up her moomoo enough to demonstrate, and the most ungodly aroma wafts out. After he gets a couple of helping hands in the room to help hold back the rolls, he discovers a large weeping abscess deep inside one of them. The stench by this time is almost unbearable, even by medical standards. Through further discussion with the patient, along with debridement and irrigation of the wound and inspection of the contents, it was determined that the abscess was actually caused by PART OF A FUCKING TUNA SANDWICH that somehow was lost under some errant flesh. The sandwich had rotted and festered in the moist, warm environs for a couple of weeks and started eating away at her skin. The excoriated skin around the edge was actually starting to heal together around the rotting sandwich, like an ameba enveloping its meal.

You'll all be glad to know that (naturally) she was on government assistance and disability, so we all kicked in thousands of dollars for her ambulance ride, the hospital personnel man hours, supplies, and yes, probably even the sandwich fixins that got the whole thing rolling.

I deal with gangrenous limbs and tunneling bedsores on a regular basis, but that was enough to put me off my lunch for some time. (Sorry Chemda, I just HAD to share that one.) Great show! Kyle kicks much ass.

Hm. Maybe you should start your own show sometime.

Without having listened to the (whole) episode or voted in the poll, I think I have the perfect CD picked out. It was the first CD I ever bought. Or, if I can't find that, I steal one from my shitty roommate and send you that instead. But don't watch any movies I make because I did something bad.

Feel free to not support Polanski. Or admit that he was great. Just don't say the movies are worthless. That's the point.

Here's the deal. POLANSKI IS A BAD PERSON. HE DID BAD THINGS. HE SHOULD NOT BE EXCUSED FOR THIS.

(now here is where the opinion comes in)

I DON'T THINK HIS MOVIES ARE LESS VALUABLE THAN OTHERS BECAUSE HE DID THE VERY BAD THINGS HE DID.

EDIT: I voted. I'm in the majority.

You should keep arguing on a show thread about something you've never heard.

I'm listening as I type. I'm on the chainsaw cesarean right now. Good stuff. You should do stand up. But I won't listen because you wrote bad checks. Choices have consequences.