1204: A Right Good Scrum

[BrianAlt]

Originally Posted by Junkenstein

It's not exactly like anything causes cancer, i'd say it's more like everything we're surrounded with is so riddled with chemical stuff that lowers our defenses and starts the tumor spreading process, that it happens much more frequently.

Plus the fact that people didn't live much past 40 a couple of hundred years ago. Now people need to die from SOMETHING.

So, no, it won't be spontaneous combustion, it will be something we have no name for yet.

[talley]

Originally Posted by dark_lobo

In my humble opinion, the waterpick might puncture your eardrum. My experience was with a huge syringe with no needle filled with warm water, water is shoot into the ear, earwax comes out. Please try this "gentler" way before the waterpick. This was done by my ear doctor and I've had no problems since.

I'd go with this. They give baby syringes like that away at walgreens.

[Keith]

SOLVED!

(Aye yie yeesh...)

[Junkenstein]

There's a few shows where the type of music you're watching requires you to sit down.

But an event where adrenaline is involved allows standing up.

I've been to stadium shows where people asked me to sit down. I moved politely at first but with sold out places like Springsteen/ACDC/chuck Berry you cannot move easily. So if someone screams "sit does" i answer back "No , you stand up".

Weirdly enough, no fight ever happened.

[Sparrow]

His eye is on the Sparrow, and I know He watches [you]. Let's kick this shit:

Dear Sweet Heavenly Lord Father in Heaven,

I, your humble servant and messenger, beseech you on behalf of a fellow sinner saved by your merciful grace in need of your love and super healing powers. Deliver from Keith Malley's ears the devil's rot and waste; return to him song, laughter, and the timbre of his lover's voice deep in the night. Cause the clinging black pitch to be forever expelled out into the lake of everlasting fire where those who deny your Holy name waste away in agony and tortuous unending sorrow; result from perfect peaceful unblemished waters your many blessings for only then shall your son have peace.

Amen.

[hayroob]

Originally Posted by DWarrior

not even remotely an expert on this, but I think they call it cancer anytime the cells fuck up and start doing weird shit. It's basically the way you to die if no outside agents (diseases/bacteria/viruses) get to you: your body just fails. So yeah, anything causes cancer.

As an aside, I wonder what'll happen after they cure cancer. Spontaneous combustion once you turn 200? Human head explosions?

Cancer is the unchecked growth of cells that eventually causes cells to die because cells can only split a finite number of times before they become to damaged and die.

It's a definition so broad as to be misleading which is why apparently everything causes cancer and why a "cure to cancer" is not really a meaningful idea. Cures for cancers is a bit more realistic, but even the idea of a cure is misleading.

Maybe effective ways to mitigate common causes of cancer.

[DJ Trashy]

Originally Posted by spats

Long time listener, first time poster - FYSY!

It sucks to hear about all the ear problems you're having. My wife is a doctor and I'll ask her what she thinks but Wikipedia has a lot to say about earwax.

I think the big thing is that you have to irrigate the ear 2-3 times per day for about a week before you'll see any improvement. It doesn't seem to matter what you use (water/soap/oil) as long as it's warm and non-toxic.

Good luck, and hope y'all feel better!

FFFffffuuuuuuuuUUUUCCCCKKKK YYYOOOOOOUUUuuuuuuuu!!!!!!

Welcome to the KATG forums

(wth, no one around here gives proper welcomes any more?)

[thirteen]

I'm always bothered when people pronounce someone else's name incorrectly (Chemda's name in this show), but when it comes to my name, I rarely correct people until it's almost too late for them to change their brain. I'm guessing a lot of people are the same way after a certain point. It just gets to be too much.

There are lots of great Canadian artists out there. They're just rarely played on the radio or on Billboard charts, so only the horrible ones are known. Keith's right about them using more of their money in the USA, but they were nurtured in Canada and many of them probably have houses in Canada as well as the USA. I still consider them to be Canadian, but the USA has more opportunities for becoming famous and the celebrity culture is HUGE over there. It's kind of your thing.

Also, who decided that a penis is equivalent to breasts on women?

[thepetek]

When we were kids we used to make a fist and take one of those butane lighters and just pour the gas in til you could FEEL it and then flick the flint and open our hands. WHOOSH!!!

One guy I knew was so bold as to fill his mouth and breathe out. Pretty cool.

That might melt wax, and it never hurt any of us, and we were dumb kids.

Well, fine, Tommy got kinda messed up but he was growing some weird lip fuzz (cannot be dignified by 'mustache') and always wore a lot of very cheap cologne (possibly pure rum).

I'm promising nothing here, just spitballin'

[elastoplastic]

Originally Posted by truetimer

Hey Keith try this....

Take a large steak skewer and jam it into your ear hole until you almost hit your brain. Be sure not to go too deep cuz if you do hit your brain you may end up slightly retarded, in which case the only job you will be able to get is that of an ear doctor, or Q tip manufacturer. Now once the meat skewer is in your ear, twist and turn it about 6 or 7 times. Now violently rip it out of your ear, the rougher the better to remove the most wax. If more blood and body tissue is removed than actual ear wax, then you have done something wrong and should try agian... I have been doing this for years and find it helpful... You could also use a red hot poker to melt the ear wax and the by gently tipping your head to the side, allow the offending liquid to drain from your ear, leaving your ears clear and unblocked as if by magic. Of course do not leave the red hot poker in your ear for too long, that would just be silly.

Another option if all else fails is to take a funnel, and shove it deep into your ear. Now pour hydrochloric acid into the funnel and allow it to fill up in your ear. Do not be alarmed by the extreme pain, this just means its working. Once it feels like most of the wax is dilluted by acid, tip your head to the side allowing wax and acid to drain out. Works like a dream. Trust me, my grandmother used this on me many times when I was younger.

Otherwise cut your fucking head off and learn to talk out of your ass, its worked for me... who needs to hear anyways???

Now that's pure science