1243: All Grown Up

[Keith]

"You're about to get some real shit dropped on your lap."


Kyle Thompson, Fuck Yeah! - Home

[DWarrior]

paradoxically, people who always lie on anonymous polls will answer No to this poll.

(I don't lie on polls, so I answered No)

[JSZilla]

LMAO This is an awesome poll.

[fluxquanta]

The begging stories in this episode made me remember I had two people beg me for money when I spent the summer of 2008 in Long Island. I think it's you fucking city folk that are causing all the trouble.

In one case, I had to go to the DMV out in Port Jefferson, which took a couple of hours and I was already pretty pissed. As I was walking back to my sweet whip (a rusted 1995 Ford Aerostar) some woman with nice looking clothes, a nice handbag, and talking on an iPhone (this was just after the 3G came out, and first gens were still pricey), came up to me begging for money. She gave me some sob story talking about how she need money for the LIRR because her mother was in the hospital in the city. I thought it was hilarious, given her appearance, that she was begging for money. I said, "I'm sorry, I'm a college student, I have no money," and she hit my car with her purse, called me a "fuckin' prick" and stormed off.

The other time I was in the LIRR terminal at Penn Station at about 1 AM on a Saturday night. Now, I know it's not a great idea to be alone there at night, but there were tons of people around waiting for trains like I was, and I'm 6'5", 240 pounds. Some black guy, probably 5'10" or so comes up to me with a clipboard and some sort of school ID. He shoves them in my face and says, "Excuse me sir, I'm a student with blah-de-blah and we want something or other so can you sign my petition?" I thought, "Yeah, ok, whatever," and scribbled on the paper. When I handed him back the pen, the tone of his voice changed completely, and he asked, "What are you doing?" I said, "You asked me to sign your petition so I signed it, what do you mean?" and as I was saying this, another 3 young black guys came out from the crowd and surrounded me. He told me that a "monetary donation of $5 was required," and I said I didn't have it (at least I didn't in cash). I opened my wallet and gave him all of the cash I did have, only $3, and luckily the guys scattered. I spent the rest of my wait time uncomfortably close to the groups of other people in the terminal.

[doctorsleep]

I was in Atlanta one time and with some of these beggers you can get a whole damn movie plot.

This guy was a football start, but he broke his hand and lost everything. Then his wife left him. Then he moved to California. Now hes here. Just on and on for like 10 minutes. Then he asks me for money to get a hotel beacuse he cant use his credit card because his ID was stolen, then he tried to sell me his box of Chinese food.

He asks me for money and I'm like "dude, write that down and sell that to Hollywood people"

really I just ran the other direction. I learned the trick to the whole thing is that you can't make eye contact with them.

[beerchick]

One of our local bums stands on the same corner all the time with a sign that says "Please help, I haven't eaten in 31 days." He's been holding that sign for at least 3 months that I've seen him.

In Florida they allow the bums to beg as long as they have a neon yellow vest on - they stand in the center section of almost every intersection in some neighborhoods. It's seriously a traffic hazard and I worry about the day that I accidentally run over one of these fuckers and then they sue me or something.

[Bucho]

Originally Posted by rodimusprime

Chemda's Batman tryouts idea has me cracking up!

Fuck yeah it did.

Also superb: Keith going off on Jess's refusal to follow his advice on unravelling her romantic mess. I'm fond of Jess so I was bummed to hear she's been hurting, but during that whole part of the show Keith was so hilarious I couldn't stop myself from grinning so huge it made my face ache. It hurt my face!

And then my heart soared higher than an eagle with superpowers to fly higher than regular eagles when Jess wrote in to say that she'd been laughing at it too. The whole deal was one of my favourite show moments of the year so far, especially when Chemda said about how she wanted to hit him but not only for bad reasons, and mentioning the look on his face and the wink to the camera. Keith was on fire and quite frankly it was awesome to behold.

[rodimusprime]

Originally Posted by JSZilla

Excuuuuuuuse me?! I'm sorry it was a bad joke. I decided to make fun of sheep for a minute. I apologize.

But consider this, to be ridiculoso for a minute...

-Sheep clone did not work out well.
-We use their "clothes" for OUR clothing.
-They can't pollute the environment.
-We breed them.
-They are eaten by us.
-We are usually taller.
-They can't drive cars.
-Is there a sheep transformer?

Just sayin'. The F word did not need to be there, I admit. It was simply for emphasis. You know how like everyone refers to every other animal as a "lesser animal". What a cocksucker I am. I think I am killing my joke really BAD RIGHT NOW. Shutting up.

I thought it was funny.

Originally Posted by Bucho

Fuck yeah it did.

Also superb: Keith going off on Jess's refusal to follow his advice on unravelling her romantic mess. I'm fond of Jess so I was bummed to hear she's been hurting, but during that whole part of the show Keith was so hilarious I couldn't stop myself from grinning so huge it made my face ache. It hurt my face!

And then my heart soared higher than an eagle with superpowers to fly higher than regular eagles when Jess wrote in to say that she'd been laughing at it too. The whole deal was one of my favourite show moments of the year so far, especially when Chemda said about how she wanted to hit him but not only for bad reasons, and mentioning the look on his face and the wink to the camera. Keith was on fire and quite frankly it was awesome to behold.

Agreed. Hilarious moments.