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DWarrior 10-31-2010 10:14 PM

Can someone with the nerd problem describe this nerd problem? As described on the show, I'm not even sure what it means. I would think I should have any nerd-problem out there, but I don't think I have this one.

doug 10-31-2010 10:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DWarrior (Post 678904)
Can someone with the nerd problem describe this nerd problem? As described on the show, I'm not even sure what it means. I would think I should have any nerd-problem out there, but I don't think I have this one.

What I guess we're calling the nerd problem here is poor communication and social skills leading to nerds behaving irrationally and angrily without due cause and often without realizing it.

It's snapping at someone because they won't explain something to you in a way that you find satisfactory, unfairly placing the onus on others to satisfy your needs.

DWarrior 10-31-2010 10:23 PM

oh, then I don't have it :D

I do have poor social and communication skills though, but in the time I stay quiet I self-rationalize anything that was said that doesn't make sense. Or if there is a contradiction I'll point it out (or won't because they already moved on).

Jo_Culprit 10-31-2010 10:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by doug (Post 678905)
What I guess we're calling the nerd problem here is poor communication and social skills leading to nerds behaving irrationally and angrily without due cause and often without realizing it.

It's snapping at someone because they won't explain something to you in a way that you find satisfactory, unfairly placing the onus on others to satisfy your needs.

Sounds like a nerd entitlement thing

awesomesauce 10-31-2010 10:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by doug (Post 678903)
I would start by not putting "friends" in quotes.

What is that supposed to mean?

Were they not really your friends?

They are in quotes because I cannot consider you a friend if you cannot communicate with me. A friend without quotes is someone who knows I am very socially awkward and bad at communicating (ex: has weird "why?" questions), but likes me anyway.

fluxquanta 10-31-2010 10:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DWarrior (Post 678907)
oh, then I don't have it :D

I'd say I don't either. While I do have a hard time dealing with...blatant ignorance, I keep my thoughts to myself.

doug 10-31-2010 10:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jo_Culprit (Post 678911)
Sounds like a nerd entitlement thing

This

Quote:

Originally Posted by awesomesauce (Post 678912)
They are in quotes because I cannot consider you a friend if you cannot communicate with me. A friend without quotes is someone who knows I am very socially awkward and bad at communicating (ex: has weird "why?" questions), but likes me anyway.

Leads to this.

It's your job to get better at helping people understand you, not the other way around.

awesomesauce 10-31-2010 10:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DWarrior (Post 678907)
I do have poor social and communication skills though, but in the time I stay quiet I self-rationalize anything that was said that doesn't make sense. Or if there is a contradiction I'll point it out (or won't because they already moved on).

I guess this is more my problem. I have learned to tell when I am annoying someone, but sometimes push past their being annoyed because I don't care. I only really get angry when I am already overwhelmed and about to get angry. I also get called a "bitch" a lot because I am quiet and in an authority position (I am a manager).

doug 10-31-2010 10:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by awesomesauce (Post 678918)
I guess this is more my problem. I have learned to tell when I am annoying someone, but sometimes push past their being annoyed because I don't care. I only really get angry when I am already overwhelmed and about to get angry. I also get called a "bitch" a lot because I am quiet and in an authority position (I am a manager).

Best piece of advice I can give is to learn to shut up and hear other people out.

You're getting angry and you don't care that people are annoyed because you're not invested in what they have to say. It's talking at vs talking to and you have to care what the other person has to say and be willing to take the time to digest and respond to it thoughtfully.

DWarrior 10-31-2010 10:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by awesomesauce (Post 678918)
I guess this is more my problem. I have learned to tell when I am annoying someone, but sometimes push past their being annoyed because I don't care. I only really get angry when I am already overwhelmed and about to get angry. I also get called a "bitch" a lot because I am quiet and in an authority position (I am a manager).

I guess I don't have the problem then because I don't have the luxury of placing the burden of description on the other party, since I've never really been in a position of power. I bet if I were a manager I'd make other people explain stuff to me.


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