1362: Happy to Serve You

[Junkenstein]

yeah, thats the horrendous part. i got calledat least twice a turn from people who aked stuff that crushed my spirit into rudeness. and they werent even old people as one would assume, they were just ignorant and always RUDE.

i became sympathetic towards help-lines in those days.

again if youre doing that, quit. Join a circus.

[Blitzgal]

Yeah, I worked a call center during college. We weren't even selling anything; we were doing customer satisfaction surveys for companies who would contract us. So we were contacting the actual customers of the company, often who had just had work done by that company. People were still complete assholes about it. It was soul crushing. That's the only job I was ever fired from, because I didn't get enough surveys completed per shift.

The worst project I did there was calling HMO customers in New York. Again, it was a customer satisfaction survey, they belonged to the HMO who contracted us, and they were FUCKING ASSHOLES. All of them. I understand hating your HMO. But you aren't striking out at the insurance company when you shit on some poor schmuck at a call center. People just want someone to scream at.

[littlp]

I think part of the reason it is so hard to fire airport employees is because of the extensive background check they likely have to go through, especially after the events of September 11th. Especially if they are government/federal employees, it is a mandatory background check, and those things are NOT cheap.

Also, Pat's impression of "special" people saying facts, and ESPECIALLY doing the Adam and Eve commerical at the end had me in freaking TEARS at work. I could hardly breath I was laughing so hard.

Also, Keith's impression of the people that recite random police jargon got me too "According to subsection 2 of OW MY HEAD!!!"

[Bucho]

Originally Posted by Eightball

Haven't laughed this hard in a while.... thanks Pat....

He's awesome. A solid Top Three guest for years now.

[RachaelBachael]

I've been a telemarketer before and I've learned that the best way to deal with customer service people is to be on their side, but still state your issue.

For example, right now I'm living with my parents and they have AT&T for their cable and internet. The cable is great, you can record 4 things on your DVR at once, the internet SUCKS. It goes out all the time and sometimes when you restart the box it knocks out the cable as well.

My dad is one to get on the phone with customer service and immediately yell at them. When he does that it usually takes a day to get a technician out to see us.

My approach is to state my issue, say that I'm "disappointed" with my lack of service, yet be kind with the person I'm speaking with. The conversation usually goes like this:

"I know that you have nothing to do with it, but seriously our internet goes out once a week. We always call and despite seeing many service technicians, nothing has changed. Is there anything you could suggest to help us fix this problem?"

It makes the customer service people not feel like shit (it is shitty to be yelled at everyday) and I usually get a technician to the house within the hour.

[Zenko]

+vote, the Pat laugh award

[vanja_polow]

I realize that this doesn't make the response of the guy who tweeted Keith okay, but what he said is true. This doesn't explain how to redeem it but supposedly it's in your contract. I know this doesn't solve the problem, but the twitterer was right.

From the NY Times Sept 14, 2010

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/09/15/nyregion/15cable.html

Cable Contract Has Fines for Late Service Calls
By FERNANDA SANTOS

Besides perhaps a root canal or a tax audit, few things can be more frustrating than making an appointment to have a cable technician visit your home. You’re given a four-hour window and find yourself waiting and waiting, with no idea when the technician will arrive. Inevitably, it seems, he does not show up until just before the window expires. Or, despite the four-hour time frame, he arrives late.

But now, customers may finally get a small measure of justice for what many complain is unfair and just plain rude treatment at the hands of the cable-company giants.

Under the terms of a new contract negotiated with City Hall, Time Warner Cable and Cablevision will have to pay for failing to honor appointments. And they will have to do a lot more to make sure that subscribers are getting good service.

The contract would make cable customers eligible for a credit equal to a full month’s bill if a technician does not arrive on time. The penalty decreases to $25 after 2012, when Verizon Fios, a competing cable provider, is expected to have built its infrastructure in much of the city, negotiators said on Tuesday.

Customers could request notification by e-mail, phone or text message when a technician is heading to their home. And in most cases, after making a choice from an automated menu, a customer should have to wait no more than 30 seconds to speak to a representative.

“We’re raising the bar, and I’m glad that the cable companies seem to understand that,” said City Comptroller John C. Liu, whose office was briefed on the contract on Tuesday and who is a member of the commission charged with approving it.

Some people get so fed up with their cable company that they give up on customer service and complain to 311, the city’s help line. Almost 1,200 complaints have been received this year alone, most of them related to the quality of service, according to city statistics. But city officials believe that there are many more unhappy customers out there.

As Robert Porto, 38, a Time Warner Cable customer in Boerum Hill, Brooklyn, put it, the new contract will be “the ultimate revenge for the little guy.”

Until Verizon Fios entered the picture, Time Warner Cable and Cablevision had essentially cornered the market for cable services. For the city, the competition from Fios turned into a great bargaining chip. Many of the customer service provisions contained in the contract are similar to those Verizon agreed to in the service deal it concluded with the city in 2008.

“Greater competition breeds better service, which breeds better terms,” said Carole Post, commissioner of the Department of Information Technology and Telecommunications.

Under federal law, municipalities are required to renew franchise agreements with cable companies unless signal quality has been a persistent problem, response to complaints is unsatisfactory or the companies have failed to honor the terms of the previous contract, among other things. The contract with Time Warner Cable and Cablevision expired in 2008.

The new contract with Time Warner Cable and Cablevision, which city officials said included about 30 pages of customer service provisions, still has to be completed and then must clear some regulatory hurdles, but most of its requirements are expected to remain in place. One is an investment of about $10 million by the cable companies to provide wireless Internet service to 32 city parks, which have yet to be selected.

The service would cost users 99 cents per day, though it would be free for 10 minutes up to three times a month. Time Warner Cable and Cablevision subscribers would get it free, according to details of the contract that officials made available to The New York Times.

Time Warner Cable will also work with nonprofit groups to establish free Internet access in 40 community centers across the city, at a rate of at least 4 per year, the contract says.

A spokeswoman for Time Warner Cable, Harriet Novet, said the company was “excited about a lot of the new features that come with this contract,” but she added that “we’re still working through some of the details.” She did not specify what those details were.

Jim Maiella, a spokesman for Cablevision, said in a statement, “We look forward to providing service in the Bronx and Brooklyn for many years to come.”

Bruce Regal, a senior lawyer at the City Law Department and one of the city’s negotiators, said the city expected to complete much of the approval process by the end of the year. The contract will be valid until 2020, which is also when the city’s agreement with Verizon Fios expires.

And, you might ask, when should New Yorkers expect to notice changes? Mr. Regal said most people would see much fiercer competition in the next year or two. “Our hope,” he said, “is that the level of competition will have an effect on service, programming, pricing and all aspects of cable television.”

[Sheepy]

Listening to this episode at the end during the lawls part my car got hit and spun me around 270 degrees. Just sayin'. Still probably one of the funniest episodes I've heard in a while and now it's associated with my car being wrecked! Hooray!

edit: ... what the fuck is the lawls part. just assume i meant Pat Dixon's Johnny Law impression.

[Rufio]

Originally Posted by Junkenstein

Pat's impression of "the dude that knows the citizen's rights" is killing me, keep rewinding and replaying. goddamn.

This. I haven't laughed so hard in a while.

[fluxquanta]

Originally Posted by Sheepy

Listening to this episode at the end during the lawls part my car got hit and spun me around 270 degrees. Just sayin'. Still probably one of the funniest episodes I've heard in a while and now it's associated with my car being wrecked! Hooray!

edit: ... what the fuck is the lawls part. just assume i meant Pat Dixon's Johnny Law impression.

Well obviously you shouldn't drive with distractions such as MP3 players, cell phones, or other electronic devices. It's the law.

(I know the feeling. That does suck. Sorry)