1381: Take This Poll

[Ansur]

It may be irrational, but we all do it in different parts of our lives. It's the same motivation that makes people get defensive at any criticism.

The motivation is NOT to look down on Lauren, or look at Chemda and Lauren's relationship as anything less than it would be between a man and a woman. The motivation is about how the guy feels about himself in comparison to other men. When she is with a woman, there is no comparison to bother him, so it's easier to accept and be happy for them. When the next guy has boobs and a vagina, it's different enough to not compare and feel bad about himself.

A lot of the things we don't like in life are things that remind us of our own inadequacies, and most of us tend to judge ourselves more harshly than an objective observer. So if the next person is too similar to us, then we assume the we were basically what they wanted, just not good enough to keep them happy.

[Anxious Nerd]

Originally Posted by Ansur

It may be irrational, but we all do it in different parts of our lives. It's the same motivation that makes people get defensive at any criticism. .......

And it's accepting that that allows us to rise above it, or at least to try. I know that if I'm criticized then I can handle it reflexively or I can treat it as it was intended. It may take extra effort and self control, but I would prefer to be gracious.

[Cretaceous Bob]

What is irrational about it? They don't see Lauren as the same as another guy. That is rational. Because she isn't the same. They're not putting any judgment on that, they're just saying there's a difference.